Lymph Journal #5

1/10/2012

Well, thank you God, and my dear Diane and fellow staff and docs who were willing to let me risk it – thank you all for the opportunity to share directly with my Worldviews students about what is unfolding in my life and how it will touch their lives as well.  It was tough each time through (a tiny bit easier with practice) my four classes and the lunchroom crowd but it was so good to be direct, share the story and the facts and allow kids to ask the questions that struck them at this point.  I know that some of my kids have walked through tough variations on this theme so pray for them.

Here’s a couple of things I hope I got out there to each class:

-The facts of what’s going on.

- The sure and certain knowledge and conviction that God is the Potter and I am the clay.  One student asked if I had a positive attitude/assurance that I would get better because “studies show” that attitude makes a difference.  I agreed that it most probably does but also argued that there’s something far beyond attitude here.  God will heal – He always does that for His children but not always on this side of heaven.  God will do what He chooses with me.  I honestly don’t have a conviction either way regarding healing in this life.  Some people have shared what they feel God is showing them and that’s encouraging but I don’t have that yet – hope yes, trust yes, but so far no “answer”.  And that’s OK – I/we’ve walked through enough stuff so far in life to have seen God’s wisdom, strength and peace demonstrated over and over again.

-My story as it related to Worldviews.  Our next philosophical unit is Nihilism which is one of the stepchildren of a Naturalistic viewpoint that argues all there is, is the matter and energy of this universe spinning through a cycle of random cause and effect (well – it’s a bit more nuanced than that but you’d have to have taken my class to see what the kids have been taught).  Nihilism is one “logical” possible next step – if the natural universe is ALL that there is does/can anything make sense.  Well, my story – I was a childhood Nihilist.  When I was about ten years of age I asked myself strange questions (well, strange for age ten) – why am I here, what’s the purpose/significance of anything, what difference does it make in life if all you ever do and all anyone else ever does is live then die?  - these sorts of cheery existential questions.  By the grace of God there were people that claimed that He offers answers to those questions so I really feel that God called me to Christ through the valley of the shadow of Nihilism – a term I’d never heard of when I was that age.

Well kids – I wish you the best in this last semester for you at BFA – I’ll be walking with you in the shadows of hygienic distance but my heart is all there.

Physically I was granted a good night’s sleep despite yesterday’s surgery and the physical and emotional strength to face this day. More than I could ask or imagine.