Russ and Diane Kraines

Lymph Journal # 29

2012-02-16T05:08:00.001-08:00

2/16/2012

Well the Internethas been down in our home over the last few days shrinking things for us just abit more. Three days phoning back andforth with Deutsche Telekom has yet to yield a positive outcome although theyhave promised to send a technician between 8AM and noon today. I began writing this at 11:21 – promises havebeen made and broken over the three previous days. I don’t mean to sound whiny and there is somuch I appreciate about getting by in the culture of Germany but “customerservice” is rather a novel concept here.

I’ve made itthrough the expected physical crash following the last round by notexperiencing it. I did have a few daysof mental fogginess but never reeled under nausea and kept my appetitethroughout. I strictly kept to theanti-nausea pills (I swallow so many pills!). That and the concerted prayers of many people have seen me through thisusually unpleasant window.

Today is ourthirty-second anniversary. I’ve got tosay, I married well.

A few entries agoI wrote of the beauty of “normal”. Thatwas really only in relation to how one physically feels and normal is so goodin that respect. But normal in othercontexts is not always the most beautiful way to approach life. Our life together has been far from normaland for that I am very grateful. Andthat life together has been energized by the steadfast love of Diane for me andfor her God throughout all the less than normal chapters of our livestogether.

As I reflected inthe early morning today I remembered how her love and faith have endured as webuilt the unique family we have and enjoy. Nine years of “challenge” in getting a family started (which also movedDiane’s instrumental role in getting CareNet RI started as the South CountyCrisis Pregnancy Center), our first being a seventeen year old niece from whomwe learned child rearing from the opposite end of the chronological order, twoadopted beauties, one miracle birth, one foster child, a second miracle birth,and all the adventures, joys and hurdles in that litany – Diane was loving andfaithful and wise throughout. Yup, Imarried well.

Multiple careerchoices for me – public school teacher, fisherman, carpenter, missionary –Diane survived them all and thrives as a full time missionary herself todaypushing the Language Services envelope for TeachBeyond and I couldn’t be moreimpressed by how she’s taken on this responsibility. Yup, I married well.

Multiple strangephysical health issues with me (we were taking inventory a few weeks back andit’s hard to find a region of my body that hasn’t had some weird circumstanceoccur – I’m a modern medical miracle!) including the present condition andwe’re still good. Yup, I married well.

Rebuilding ourfirst house literally around us – you, if you haven’t seen the pictures, howsqualid things were for a time – (Brief, I hope, time-out – D-Telekom is here!)(We’re back online!) Moving back and forth from the USA to Germany as well asmoving five times in Germany – she was game for it all. Yup, I married well.

Those are some ofthe things on the short list of not so normal. This chapter of life certainly ranks as an unexpected chapter but we areas close or closer than ever and, even though it won’t be a fancy restauranttonight (but I did buy some steaks) I can say with all assurance that it isanother happy anniversary and that I, indeed, married well. I’d do it again in a heartbeat!

Lymph Journal # 28

2012-02-11T10:16:00.001-08:00

2/11/2012

Day 2 followinground 3 of chemo and I’m enjoying a fairly comfortable day. I recognize the signs of impending sideeffects over the course of the next few days – a bit fuzzy in the head aka“chemo brain”, tightness in the chest (no not heart attack just something thatlasts a day or two after chemo but I see now why heart and lung evaluation werenecessary before starting up chemo), and all sorts of weirdness in the bellyregion. Do I dread the days? – well, abit, they’re not comfortable but it’s part of the deal and overall I guess I’mpleased that I “lose” only 3-4 days out of a fourteen-day cycle.

The past few dayshave been filled with encouragements and a grudging admission that lymphoma canbe counted as one of God’s blessings in my life (and Diane’s as well). God grows us through the hard stuff.

Grudging because– well, it’s no picnic and I wouldn’t have chosen this path – so I don’teagerly embrace the time-honored, repeatedly-celebrated, sometimes clichésounding truth that we are to “count it (all trials, etc.) all joy”. But, darn it, I’m finding it to be true.

But, why ablessing? Well, first the internaleffects of going through this disease and treatment are profound. Facing the immediacy of possible death and/orthe seriousness of heavy-duty medicine have a way of concentrating the mind andheart on things of importance – that should come as no big news to any of youwho have walked such a path. Back in mygrade eight public school classroom I used to have posted on the wall this: Momento Mori meaning “Remember, you mustdie” and used sometimes as a label for reminders of mortality found in works ofart. It took the students about a monthto ask me why it was up there and what it meant at which point I’d explain theliteral meaning and offer them the perspective that you ought to considermortality when you figure out how to go about living your life. Cheery guy me, but I always thought it a goodlife lesson.

I’m not big intothe more mystical aspects of religious practice – I respect those traditionsbut have never been one to seek out ascetic retreats or feel that incense couldsomehow enhance my prayer life – again, this is not meant to malign suchpractice, it just hasn’t been mine. But,I’ve got to tell you now, with a few weeks perspective, I found my first roundof chemo (day 2 heavy chemical day) to be one of the most profoundly mysticalexperiences of my life. It was a time ofdeep worship. Plugged into my music,listening mainly to Rich Mullins tunes (he had a deep appreciation for theeternal perspective – even deeper now, I suppose, having “crossed over”himself) I reveled in the truths of God’s promises.

And then I gotpeeled.

I’ll say it here,disagree with me if you will, but we’re all messed up and we’re all atdifferent places on that road to getting more or less messed up. I am messed up and chemo day helped bypeeling me. Think about the discussionbetween Shrek and Donkey in the original Shrek movie. Shrek maintained ogres were like onions –they have a lot of layers and Donkey, insisting on a more positive spinsuggested that one could be like a cake or a parfait – you could have layersbut not stink. Shrek stuck to his guns –he had onion layers and he was right. Ihave/had layers that are/were more onion than parfait. We all do. Prideful disguises, artful dodges, secret protected weaknesses and sin,fears and insecurities, old hurts and baggage – man the list can go on and onand I could check of a number of these less that delightful items. But that day, facing the awesomeness of myGod’s tenacious, terrifying and absolutely tender love and in the light of thecircumstances I got peeled – that’s the best way I can describe it. I could almost feel the layers gently beingtorn away. I am far from perfect, farfrom finished and I wish I could better articulate this but I am so thankfulfor it.

Why else haslymphoma been a blessing? Well, back tothe encouragements of just the past few days. We’ve had all sorts of notes, emails, dropped off treats and CDs orDVDs, packages in the post, etc. just in these past three days. I even got assurances from a former BFAstudent/staff person who now is an international flight attendant that, seeingas the inhabited continents were all covered, she’d cover s in prayer overvarious oceans. All these things arebuoying but the best pearls within them are when people reveal how our journeythrough all this is impacting or has impacted them. I deeply appreciate hearing these things fromfriends, family, students and the like. Itbrings joy and reveals God’s wider purposes in this to some degree. We can see God working in us and in otherpeople and that is marvelous.

So we’ll do ourbest to count it all joy – and we’re seeing just how, unlikely as it is humanlyspeaking, God’s providing the signposts to get there.

Lymph Journal #27

2012-02-08T06:52:00.002-08:00

2/8/2012

Chemo Day #1 Round Three

After six days of feeling quite good it’s time toface the music again. I’m hooked up andready at nine AM with today’s gang of fellow infusionees. The Marmalade Lady has just entered the room herknitting needles and sonic voice confirm the sighting. We’ll have to wait and see whether today willhave a topic for her. There’s anotherlady stretched out in one of the lounges not hooked up to anything but asleepand snoring up a storm. Another pair ofpatients in quiet conversation and a Sudoku puzzler is hard at in in anotherchair. So far I’m the only overtly chemobald person I’ve seen in the treatments so far. I’ve suspected a few wigs along the way (in a quick room scan there aretwo pretty certain cases today) so I guess I sort of stand out. Well, the hat was getting itchy so I’mletting the head shine in all its glory.

Today’s the day when, along with a few other oddsand ends, I get the Rutuximab (Rutuxin) infusion. I got the bill for the chemo drugsadministered by infusion the other day and Rutuxin is definitely the big ticketitem costing excess of 3000€ or $4000. The mice used in the process of growing the monoclonal antibodies thatmake up Rutuxin must be pretty well paid.

My hemoglobin is down a bit but still in theacceptable range at 9.0. I’ve beenfeeling quite strong – I even skipped the elevator this morning to get up tothe treatment center. The lowest I’veseen it was 7. The day I had thatreading was he day when death truly looked like a likely outcome of thedisease. Blood transfusion rectified theproblem but today I don’t need one. Theslowness at which my hemoglobin has run down over these past few weeks isreally quite encouraging and gives me hope that treatment is doing what it’ssupposed to do.

Diane and I had a taste of home last night for my“last supper” before a round of chemo. Alocal supermarket was advertising “winter Kabeljau”, German for codfish. Sure enough that’s what it was – fresh codfilets with the skin still on thereby confirming the species. So, creamed codfish was last night’s entrée(Carl had dinner out with his German teacher and two other classmates as areward for having spoken the most German during their weekend in Munich) and itwas delicious. I’ve been craving decentseafood of late and I don’t think there’s much better a way to ingest proteinthat fresh fish. Apart from bouncinggrandkids on my knee and seeing family and friends, fresh seafood is what wemiss the most living here.

All is quiet from the Marmalade lady and thedopiness that is part of today’s infusion is beginning to manifest itself so,until later, Tschüss! (informal greeting/goodbye now banned in favor of GrüssGott in certain Bavarian public schools).

Back from the edge of drowsiness and I look aroundthe room seeing that some of the characters have changed. The Marmalade lady knits (looks looks amitten) on but remains conversationally quiet. The snorer is hooked up to something now andthere are a few new faces. Day one ofthe two day cycle runs five to six hours for me so there’s lots of time for theactors to change. The cast of sunlighthas shifted about 45 degrees along the floor and walls and I hope to be outbefore I become a direct recipient of its rays. The snorer has awoken, been disconnected and bid Adieu to us all,

I was listening to music while in and out of sleepymode and it’s always a powerful thing. Istarted writing today with no particular “message” in mind, I just wanted togive a first hand “real time” impression of the chemo therapy roomexperience. But the songs once againforce reflection. Twice, in the lasttwelve hours, two different people have asked me how I’m “doing spiritually”. It’s a question caring brothers and sistersof faith who’ve achieved appropriately intimate levels of relationship and respectare entitled and, indeed, encouraged to ask of one another. It’s more that a Hello, how are you sort ofquestion and it deserves an honest answer. (in part because they know it might come right back at them!)

So, how am I doing spiritually? The short answer is, “I’m doing well” butthat certainly could use some definition. The greatest anchor in doing well spiritually these days is the anchorof peace. God has granted to me and to Dianeas well, I believe, and, as is promised in Scripture, a peace that passes allunderstanding. We are firmly assured,convicted and convinced that God is powerful, loving, strong and good. He’s also in charge whether or not werecognize that so we might as well recognize that. We know that when all issaid and done, what is important boils down to being found in Him. In future posts I want to explore some ofthese ideas but for now just listing them is meant to identify the roots of ourpeace. That peace ranges from enjoyingeach day in Him and with each other to, while missing the classroom that I loveso much to being OK with not being there to whether this disease is beaten onthis or the other side of eternity.

The last tune I listened to before picking up thecomputer again was David Crowder’s NeverLet Go. It pretty much sums up whereI’m at right now.

When clouds veilsun and disaster comes

Oh, my soul, Oh,my soul

When waters riseand hope takes flight

Oh, my soul, Oh,my soul

Ever faithfulever true

You are known

You never let go

You never let go,you never let go, you never let go

When cloudsbrought rain and disaster cam

Oh, my soul, Oh,my soul

When waters roseand hope had flown

Oh, my soul, Oh,my soul

Ever faithfulever true

You are known

You never let go

You never let go,you never let go, you never let go

Oh my souloverflows, Oh what love, oh what love

Oh, my soul fillswith hope

Perfect love,that never lets go

You never let go,you never let go, you never let go

Oh, what love, Oh, what love, Oh, what love

In joy or pain, in sun and rain

You’re the same,

Oh, you never let go, you never let go, you neverlet go

So, I’m doing remarkably well spiritually. No great revelations these past few days, nomystical heights or depths but peace. In the face of this great and good God andin the grip of His tenacious love I’m not in the mood to rant and rage (andyes, I know it’s OK if I do – I believe that, I’ve read the Psalms – but I’mnot “there” right now).

I’m OK and to those of you with whom I’ve earnedthe right to ask I will ask – “How are you doing spiritually?” For all of time and beyond it is the mostimportant question to which you can and should seek an answer.

Lymph Journal # 26

2012-02-05T10:27:00.001-08:00

2/5/2012

I recently realized that I no longer have a butt. Losing all the weight that I have over thepast year I know it had to come from somewhere. I’ve watched as subcutaneous layers of excess lipid materials havethinned uniformly all over the place. For many a month this seemed like such a good thing – remember I wastrying to make this happen. I waspleased to see the belt cinch into holes successively closer to thebuckle. My colleagues would remark onthe one or two occasions when I did not have a salad for lunch. I often passed up a donut on BFA’s Thursdaydonut day (those from BFA know of what I speak, others can only imagine but“homemade” is a key word). Oh boy, pridedoes ever goeth before a fall!

But the butt has always been there in its proportionalmeasure. It served as a cushion for hardseats, a contour on which to hang my pants, and a measure (via a sort offirmness index) of the degree of slope that I had to negotiate walking homefrom work. Things get pretty toned whenyou live on one of Kandern’s steeper hills and walk to work. (This sounds like a case of TMI yet it’s anaspect of this disease that you might want to realize and understand.) But all that is now moot. Apart from loosing fat there has been a grosswastage of muscle mass and that is sobering. Under treatment it seems to have been arrested – this is good news andmy weight has become fairly stable.

I’ve always sort of wondered why cancer is often related toweight loss. Following are just a fewsnippets from various websites that begin to explain when to be concerned withweight loss and a little bit about the whys and the hows.

When To See Your Doctor About Weight Loss Generally, you should see your doctor if you have lost 5percent of your body weight within six months or less and have done so withoutmodifying your diet or exercising. Your doctor may ask you several questions tohelp identify why you are losing weight.http://cancer.about.com/od/glossary/a/weight_loss.htm

I haven’t used this blog to offer medical advice but that’sadvice worth considering. The moreformal name for cancer related weight loss is “cachexia”. Here are a few preliminary blurbs on that:

Cachexia (kak-ex-ee-a) comes from the Greek word kakos meaning 'bad' andhexis meaning 'condition'. Anorexia just means loss of appetite and is oftenassociated with cachexia, but not always. Cachexia is more than simply loss ofappetite though. It is a very complex problem involving changes in the way yourbody normally uses protein, carbohydrate, and fat. It leads to many problemsincluding muscle wasting.

http://cancerhelp.cancerresearchuk.org/coping-with-cancer/coping-physically/diet/about/types-of-diet-problems

Lymphokines According to a September 2010 review inthe "Journal of Cachexia, Sarcopenia and Muscle," 60 to 80 percent ofcancer patients eventually suffer from significant weight loss. The precisemechanisms for cancer cachexia are unclear, but scientists at the University ofTexas MD Anderson Cancer Center believe that substances called lymphokines --molecules produced by the tumor or by your immune system in response to thetumor -- exert systemic influences that cause all paraneoplastic syndromes,including weight loss. Many lymphokines accelerate the breakdown of fat andmuscle and interfere with protein synthesis, even in the face of adequatenutrition. http://www.livestrong.com/article/447860-rapid-weight-loss-lymphoma/

Anyway, I thought I’d share this all and just add –whatever your feelings are toward your own aft anatomy – it can be the “canaryin the coal mine” when it comes to cancer. Certainly the Christian perspective on spiritual gifting uses theinsight that all the parts of the body are worthy – they all have theirplace. If you find yourself missing thestern-most portion, well, see your doctor and be careful your pants don’t falldown. (Not necessarily in that order but ASAP in either case.)

Lymph Journal # 25

2012-02-03T11:45:00.001-08:00

2/3/2012

What a beautiful thing is feeling relatively normal. I woke up this morning to a good sign –craving another fried egg sandwich and boy, Mr. Indulgent that I am, I gotright on that and savaged a double egger on Basler Brot (a local bakeryfave). The ketchup involved wasespecially tasty. The other night Icouldn’t face macaroni with Bolognese sauce but ketchup today – I’m all overit. Lest I stop with breakfast, we“drove through” a McDonalds for lunch (post doc office visit and blood test) withan order for drei (3) cheeseburgers nür (only) ketchup and a small pommes(fries) and Fanta. (It’s always a partywhen ordering a “special order” through the hi-fidelity sound mechanism of aMcDs remote kiosk in a language that you’ve in which you’ve yet to feelmastery). Of that, Diane had one burger and a few fries – you do the math onthe rest. After a mid-afternoon icecream bar (me) we ordered out for Chinese for which I’ve had a growingcraving. A drive through the beautifulcountryside in the shadow of our freshly snow frosted local mountain and a goodblood test report from the docs - all in all, normal is a great way to be –don’t ever knock it.

On the clinical side, what makes the blood test sound goodis that my white count has risen some – it’s still depressed but stronger thanlast week, the platelets are good and the reds are, rather than petering out tothe level of me feeling like a fish gasping for water (picture it), are holdingrelatively steady. This tells the docand us of the “efficacy” (his words) of the treatment. Efficacy – good word, normal – good feeling. I know things can crumble overnight but todayis what we’ve got and normal is wunderbar.

Lymph Journal # 24

2012-02-01T08:54:00.001-08:00

2/1/2012

Yesterday was a complete washout. Unpredictably, that was the day when thepost-chemo nausea hit hardest so far. Itwas back to virtual inertia as in sitting inert and silent on the sofa unableto read or think to any degree. A bit ofmindlessness on the tube was about all I could muster.

Today has been much better. I’m still tired but I’ve been able to eat and it has stayed where it’ssupposed to stay. One load of laundryand some medical bills were taken care of – I’ll take that over yesterday.

I have been doing some reflecting on what this process mustcost in terms of care-giving. Technically, I have cancer but in reality it seems like we, Diane and I,have this together. As much as I havemoments when I think (wrongly) – “Come on, I don’t have cancer”, I know she hasmoments where it feels like the disease is hers and she has to, rightly, saythe same thing. I don’t like having the disease and all the stuff that attendsit but I know it costs dearly in the concern, care and time for Diane. We walk through this together and – this isnot a noble thought – I prefer that I have the disease to being the one who hasto walk through it with someone for whom I care so much.

I am so impressed with Diane’s commitment and care. She has worked continues to work hard in herrole as Director of Language Services for TeachBeyond. Others, a true answer to prayer, are steppingup and taking on the roles that needed to be filled for the department to growto its ambitions and this has been great to see. Largely, she can get much done from home sowe have good time together and her times out at various meetings are a literalstone’s throw away. So all thiscontinues but added to that is me. Thisis the new, hopefully temporarily, care-needing me. Many of the usual chores I can’t or shouldn’tdo any more. There are bad days wherethe level of helplessness is way beyond my comfort zone. Our social interactions are greatlylimited. I need rides places (and a bigthanks to those helping out for appointments). And, of course, there are the what-if questions that are out there. No, it’s not at all easy.

But there is a sweetness in all of it. We have taken opportunities to reflect howour lives have been spent together and there is little to regret. There is a sweetness to the quality of ourrelationship that is so comforting and joyous. There is a sweetness to the times we are together now. There is a sweetness to the grace thatpermeates our home. I won’t ask a stupidquestion like, “Would I trade this for freedom from cancer?”, because I don’tlike stupid questions. In thesovereignty of God this is where we are and there is much that is beautiful init. Thank you Lord, thank you, oh wifeof my youth.

Lymph Journal # 23

2012-01-30T11:11:00.000-08:00

1/30/2012

Well it has been a bit of a blah day. Must be the unpredictable side effects of thechemo coming on a bit later than last time. Nothing too terrible but I wasn’t a bundle of energy andheartiness. My blood work came back OK –pleasing.

I’m 54 now. Untiltoday, since about grade 6 (age 11 or so) I’ve basically kept to the samegeneral hair-style. Sure, in the 70’sand 80’s it might have averaged an inch or so longer but the part, theproportions, the pesky cowlick – all pretty steady elements of my basiccoiffure. You know I’ve always believedthat when you find something that works you just stick with it. Hence my stable of short-sleeved plaid shirtsand my khaki trousers. Plaids have comeand gone and come back again and mine have plowed through all the vagaries offashion. Well, same way with hehair. I mean, once you’ve gotten itbasically trained (and many a man my age remembers the gluey training stick ofhardish gunk used to train the forepeak of the follicular mass – or at leastsome Kraines kids do) you might as well go with it. I just could never get into the idea ofre-styling of spending precious time altering the natural flow of things tomake your hair look artificially distressed or swept at unlikely angles. But, to each his own, I will not judge.

But after some 43 years it’s come to this. I underwent the major chemo re-coiffure. After a few days of hairy pillows and cloggeddrains, I’d had it. Out came the shearsand razors and we did the deed. Strangehow the random hairs of middle age (you know those ones that grow out of someswoop or whorl of you ears) stand hard and fast in their roots but the scalpand beard just sort of give up when faced with chemo. Maybe they’re just more tired after all theseyears. Well, here’s the result.

From certain angles and expressions I remind myself of oneof those dollar store drawing toys – you know the ones with the facial outlineand spherical noggin that you can move the iron filings around on with yourMagic Pencil. Hey, there are worse looksthan that.

Lymph Journal # 22

2012-01-29T13:24:00.001-08:00

1/29/2012

OK day today but I think tomorrow’s blood test just mightshow I’m down a pint or two in the red cell department – we’ll see.

Today’s highlight was watching and listening to a video ofmy daughter Amanda sing a favorite Chris Rice tune that captures a relationshipwith Jesus in and finds hope and joy in the circumstances of life. If you’re Facebook friend we’ve repostedit. I don’t know how she made it throughto the end (I somehow did with another song I sang at her wedding) but we’rehonored by it and rejoice to see God at work in the lives of our children. Here’s the lyrics:

Weak and woundedsinner

Lost and left to die

O, raise your head, forlove is passing by

Come to Jesus

Come to Jesus andlive!

Now your burden's lifted

And carried far away

And precious blood haswashed away the stain, so

Sing to Jesus

Sing to Jesus andlive!

And like a newbornbaby

Don't be afraid tocrawl

And remember when youwalk

Sometimes wefall...so

Fall on Jesus

Fall on Jesus andlive!

Sometimes the way islonely

And steep and filled withpain

So if your sky is dark andpours the rain, then

Cry to Jesus

Cry to Jesus andlive!

O, and when the love spillsover

And music fills thenight

And when you can't containyour joy inside, then

Dance for Jesus

Dance for Jesus andlive!

And with your finalheartbeat

Kiss the worldgoodbye

Then go in peace, and laughon Glory's side, and

Fly to Jesus

Fly to Jesus and live!

Thank youAmanda.

Lymph Journal # 21

2012-01-28T06:07:00.000-08:00

1/28/2012

Woke up feeling good again this morning – amazing. I did discover, however as I checked email thismorning and even as I type this that my keyboard is covered with hair. Apparently it’s mine as in no longer attachedto my scalp as in they said 2-3 weeks and you might lose it. Well, it’s not like I wasn’t warned. And, using any excuse for a walk on what wasa beautiful morning, Diane and I set off for downtown to visit the outdoormarket and take a last hair photo of me on the covered bridge. There and back it was good to run into avariety of folks we know and could chat with in the security of open-airconversations. Sure helps ease some ofthe isolation effect.

Hair today, gone tomorrow (+fresh spinach from the farmer's market)

Upon arriving home we were greeted by a package from Mark& Cheryl Blumenbaum (hey, way to get mentioned in the blog!) containing amemento of Newport Creamery days gone by. Some of you know my infamous “Oreo Story” which I tell regarding transitionfrom Germany to the U.S. back in 2003. (It’s one I generally save for the last day of classes with my Seniorsso I’m not going to tell it here.) TheB’s have heard the story and Mark remembered that back in the 1980’s, NewportCreamery was pushing its Oreo Tower Sundae. They sent along a priceless work of marketing art from those days tocheer our décor.

But I think he's double-stuffed!

Anyway, I’m glad we got a good walk in this morning becausethe rain is rattling the roof windows now. But it’s a cheery place here. Weare surrounded by the encouragement of so many and enjoying God’s peace which,indeed, surpasses all understanding. Oops,there’s another hair!

Lymph Journal # 20

2012-01-27T07:20:00.001-08:00

1/27/2012

I didn’t think I’d be posting today between the physical andmental funk that accompanied the last chemo treatment. But today is amazing. I’ve done three loadsof laundry (stairs included), walked outside for 45 minutes, cooked Diane andmyself breakfast (not necessarily in this order), paid 13 medical bills online,downloaded and largely completed my 2011 U.S. tax forms, and glued a brokentoothbrush holder. Last round I spentthis day staring at he walls. I give Godthe glory as he has called so many to pray. I still have no idea how prayer works in this situation but in God’scrazy economy it just does. Feel liketoday I’m walking on holy ground. Thankyou all who have and are lifting us up through this.

Lymph Journal # 19

2012-01-26T04:33:00.000-08:00

1/26/2012

Boys’ day at the start of chemo this morning. When I came in the same older gentleman whooccupied the corner chair was there again. I chose a slightly different seat than yesterday, hoping it might beslightly more comfortable, and the guy jokingly pointed to yesterday’s seatsurprised I didn’t return to it. Afterexplaining hat, “Mein Deutsch ist nicht so gut.” We “conversed about the meritsof the different chairs and the need for a “kissen” (pillow) to really make itwork. Ah, wrestling with words acrossthe language barrier – well, one thing all this is good for is sharpening mylimited German skills. One of the IVsupervisory nurses yesterday was explaining the three quick shots she wasintroducing to my IV line. As sheexplained one was for the “vomitation prevention” – I appreciated that turn ofphrase. She originally was from Indiaand came to Germany 12 years ago and has since learned German and nursing. I asked which course of study was moredifficult and, to no great surprise, she said German was tougher and that shewas now trying to walk her beginning school age kids through some of thepitfalls of German grammar.

The conviviality continued with the boys. One of the guys (by now there were four ofus) filled his cup with mineral water (most drink the fizzy stuff here – weusually do as well) and lifted in in a salute and then commented on how it waskein sekt (no champagne). This wasfollowed up by coffee orders taken by the nurses (you know this is downrightcivilized). Oops, we’ve got our firstfemale patient of the day so I guess boy’s day is over. As you can see, I’m writing this from theroom – I decided to try taking the computer today so that what comes to me forthis won’t have to go through the longhand stage.

I passed a milestone yesterday when I found the first fullpage of my treatment passbook filled in. Yes, in Germany you become a card-carrying cancer patient. In this case the stereotypical picture of aform-obsessed system seems to work. Thebook keeps a record of treatments done, blood work results and futureappointments. It serves as your callingcard to the clinic – once it’s in their hands you know that service will not befar behind. So I’ve left behind anyapprehensions about such a passbook, apprehensions built on too many war movie–“May I see your papers?” – sorts of scenes.

"Vell, ve see sat your papers are in order, you may proceed to the treatment room." (They didn't really say this)

Forty minutes in and four of the phases of this round ofR-CHOP therapy are done. Yesterday wasthe “R” infusion. This morning I startedthe “P” (prednisone) at home and today’s infusion should cover the rest.

Well, on to the second topic that I was focused on duringtreatment (and beyond) yesterday. Inthis situation of cancer and treatment many people have encouraged me toexpress my fears, my outrage, my despair – mein angst we’d say - in Germany inthe middle of all this. I get this. I’ve read the despairing thoughts of Qoheleth(Ecclesiastes’ author’s pen name) and I’ve certainly seen in many of the Psalmscries of disbelief, shocks of alarm, and the disappointed hearts and souls ofmen who recognize their predicaments and their God.

I know it’s OK to “go there”, to allow the cry of my heartto reflect the gravity of the situation I’m now in. And I do have, every now and then, glimpsesof it. I, and I should say we, usuallydeal with it through a sense of wry humor we’ve developed over the years amidperiods of severe trial. A few days agoI received the BFA summer plans sheet and was sorely tempted to complete theprojected summer schedule with my plan summed up in one word, “SURVIVE”. I hope they get the joke!

I know I can and might die from this disease or itscomplications. It’s not a morbidpre-occupation and it’s not resignation and an unwillingness to fight the goodfight. It’s just recognizing the odds. Diane and I have had and will continue tohave discussions on the practicalmatters that come with the prospect of death.

But, and in no way to my credit but to the grace of God I’veseen play out over my years and the same grace of God embedded in history andin his promises to those who follow him, great waves of despair are yet to rollover me. Maybe this has much to do withchanges I’ve seen in what we call the veil of death or the curtain between nowand forever or the Jordan of gospel music that so often signifies the borderbetween life and death. Right now in mylife (and I’m sure this will be challenged from time to time) I’ve got a sensethat it’s the dry season in the hills that feed the Jordan’s flow. When I visited the nation of Jordan a fewyears ago and traveled to the banks of the Dead Sea you could almost make outthe “promised land” on the other side. It wasn’t until we flew out of Amman for Europe that I could get a clearview of what lay across as we overflew a corner of Israel. But now my sense is that it’s easier to seeacross the metaphoric Jordan. The riverseems low and crossing it might just mean a brief, ankle-wetting wade. Perhaps the rains may come and bar passagefor now. I don’t know, I have no firmconvictions either way. But what I doknow, what I can be sure of is God’s goodness and from that knowledge comespeace about the outcome.

For this I am so grateful. I spent much time in the chair yesterday listening to David Crowder’smusic. One line goes, “From wherever you are to wherever you’vebeen, He’s been there, He’s built a monument…”“From wherever you are towherever you’ve been, He’s been there, He’s built a monument…”. Just like the twelve stones plucked fromthe bed of the Jordan as God held back the waters so the nation of Israel couldcross to the promised land. The monumentof the stones told the story of God’s continued patience, promise, redemptionand grace.

Well, if you don’t hear from me for a day or two chalk it upto the “chemo brain” phase of chemotherapy. If it’s like last time they’ll be at least two days where mental activityis about as likely as me running a mile in my present condition.

Lymph Joural # 18

2012-01-25T10:58:00.001-08:00

1/25/2012

Today was one of those days that starts with abaseline dread and ends with a greater measure of blessing. Looking ahead I saw hours in the therapy roomlounge (worked out to be five hours, and no, no Marmalade Lady) and uncertaineffects on my system. The effects maystill come (but I ate like a horse upon my return home) but the time flew by(sometimes a bit drowsily due to an antihistamine infusion). And the time had a focus the object of whichwas set by two passages in Scripture and a remembrance of past adventure.

The first passage was suggested by my ride intoday in the gracious hands of BFCF’s pastor David. He told me he would be covering me in prayerguided by Psalm 20. Needless to say itwas the first place I went once settled in the lounge. It begin with:

Maythe LORD answer you when you are in distress,

maythe name of the God of Jacob protectyou…

It concludes with verses 6&7:

Now I know that the LORD saves hisanointed

He answershim from his holy heaven with the saving power of his righteous

right hand.

Some trust in chariots and some inhorses,

but we will trust in the name f the LORD our God.

A very encouraging Psalm, to say the least, but then I wenton to where I’ve been reading of late and that is from the book of the prophetIsaiah, specifically chapters 35-38. This piece of Isaiah is more narrative than prophecy. It tells the taleof the Assyrian field commander ofAssyria’s, up to this point overwhelmingly triumphant king Sennacherib. The commander taunts the agent of the godlyking in Jerusalem, Hezekiah – a king who has restored right worship and workedto rid the nation of its idols and “high places” of unholy sacrifice. His taunts include an accusation that he wastrusting in the “broken reed” of Egypt for his safety. He then scoffs that Hezekiah might betrusting in the one known as “the LORD our God” when everyone knows thatHezekiah has torn down the high places (well, I didn’t say the field commanderwas a good theologian) and everyone also knows that Sennacherib has overthrownevery god he’s encountered to this point on his romp through the Near East – nogod has delivered anyone.

Hezekiah’s response is prayer (chapter 37)(there are otherdetails but you can read them for yourself). His prayer starts with praise to God for his creation. It moves on to a realistic assessment of thesituation – he’s knows what he’s up against. It finishes with the request:

“Now, OLORD our God, deliver us from his hand, so that all kingdoms on earth may knowthat you alone, O LORD are God.”

In other words – God you cover this and show your name strong. Pretty close to where I started in Psalm 20.

So, then I got to remembering the craziest English Camp I’veever had the privilege and responsibility to direct. We were way understaffed and everyone wasdoing double or triple duty. Very few ofthe staff knew each other at the start so teambuilding was an on the jobaffair. The kids were one of our wilderbunches. The temperature was hot, hot,hot and the flies were the worst I’d ever experienced at camp (I remember ourBible teacher swatting flies, a weapon in each hand, during morning staffprayer). Injuries were unusually highstaff and campers alike.

One night during the Bible teaching one of our campers sortof screamed in a terror stricken way and then passed out in her seat. Well, well – what do you do? We pulled her into the side room where two ofour leg injures people were already laid out. The doc [Larry P for those who know him] had already been see them andwas on his way back with medical supplies – was he surprised to see a thirdbody laid out! But we knew this case wasless medical and more spiritual so we surrounded her with a handful of staffand the hands of the wounded and I told folks to pray out loud whatever theyfelt they were called to pray. We alldid and what came to my mind to pray was this: Show your name strong God, show your namestrong!

In all this, showyour name strong! David, when hetrusted in God’s name, often saw the God of Jacob deliver him. Hezekiah, when he trusted in in the name ofthe LORD our God, saw deliverance. Ourcamper as we together called on God’s name saw deliverance from a particularmemory that was haunting her.

I felt a buoyancy within and in leaving the treatment room thatI did not have going in. I’ve heard ofpeople being “uplifted” by the prayers of God’s people. Now (well, not for the first time but plainlyevident today) I’m one of those people. Diane is another. Thanks to allwho pray and thanks to the name of the LORD our God.

Don’t stop tomorrow for there are toxic chemicals awaitingme.

Lymph Journal # 17

2012-01-24T12:00:00.001-08:00

1/24/2012

Well. this is probably the last feel-good day for a few. Tomorrow starts round 2 of chemo that willinclude two days of infusions. Tomorrow’s main ingredient is Rituximab aka Rituxan the chimeric(made in mice) monoclonal antibodythat’s supposed to kill off lymphoma cells especially when the B cells are onthe dodgy end of the scale and mine are, they’re “large”. The next day is when the more toxic chemicalblast occurs and, based on the last round, I’ll be back to the state of “chemobrain” as well as chemo body. All inall, if it’s like the last time and if it works, it’s way worth it.

Lymph Journal # 16

2012-01-23T10:26:00.000-08:00

1/23/2012

Good day today – so far – it is one of the two days in theweek that I take an antibiotic dose that sort of set me back the firsttime. I think I’ve figured out how tobetter manage the hit to my digestion.

Today has been a day to really appreciate the encouragementmany have extended to us. The emailnotes, written notes, blog responses, offers to do – well, just about anything,gifts of music or reading material, dinner (tonight thanks to the BFA PersonnelDepartment), the countless folk pledging prayer support – why, it’s all quiteoverwhelming and I know we’re going to miss thanking some people properly sohere’s a general THANKS! right now.

Today we also had a delightful and encouraging visit from ayoung couple dear to our hearts, Molly and Nico. We’ve known Molly since I had her as astudent in World History at BFA in the 2001-02 school year. Molly’s one sharp cookie (from a family oflikewise sharpies) and is the one person to accurately and succinctly nail myteaching style in one word (a secret observation gleefully spilled by her missionaryDad later to me). The word was“pontificate” – bot, did she get that right – I do pontification well and wassecretly delighted that she understood that. Well Molly went on to finish well at BFA then attended a secularuniversity in Boston – not so far from RI – and she flourished there. When I asked her how she was able to be sosuccessful at not only surviving but thriving in the transition to the U.S. sheshared a powerful secret – she went there with a mission/as a missionary. I had to admire the wisdom in that – she wentto shape things rather than be shaped by them because she already knew what wasimportant in life. Following universityshe eventually ended up in student/community ministries in Rhone-Alps region ofFrance. There she met Nico, a young manwho came to faith as, well, a young man. A few summers ago we had the privilege of attending their wedding whichwas a blend of Asian, Alsatian, and Scottish culture (anyone familiar with theBFA community would not be surprised at this sort of eclecticism). To fast forward, Molly and Nico now areserving in a major city/university area in central France. They’re leading investigative Bible studiesas outreach, serving in leadership with a church youth group, investing in thelives and discipleship of students. Whenthis semester wraps up they’ll be moving to a new location and, with anothercouple, starting up a similar work there.

This was all such an encouragement to me, to us. Here’s this little half-pint sized youngwoman who, seemingly yesterday, was a student in my class but in reality, tenyears on she’s on the frontline of reaching out to students in a nation not sofriendly to the Gospel. Nico will preachat a baptism this weekend – he says it’s the first time he’ll be preaching to anon-church crowd. She’s stayed thecourse – man, that’s encouraging. He’sgrown so much in a few short years. Thegirl I used to pontificate over joined with us and her husband to pray together– to pray for us and for what God’s doing here and to pray for them. It really doesn’t get much better than that.

Lymph Journal # 15

2012-01-22T07:10:00.000-08:00

1/22/2012

Well it’s been a quiet, restful, and physically stableweekend. The appetite’s been good and afew folks have dropped in to catch up. That’s a careful, sanitize your hands at the door and are you healthysort of drop in due to the state of my white blood count – low, that is, asexpected at this point in therapy. I dolook forward to warmer days when visiting with people could include sittingoutside at the Eiscafe (our local ice cream/gelato emporium closed now for thewinter) where I can visit in the safety of fresh air and try hard to keep up myweight. Geez! – “keep up my weight” –who’d have ever imagined me ever having to say such a thing. Life does have some funny turns.

Today Carl had a friend’s birthday party to attend thisafternoon I the next village over the hill from us. I went along for the drop off ride. It really felt like I was on release from therest home for a Sunday drive. You takeyour pleasures where you can get them, I guess.

Today our grandson Isaiah is being dedicated at WoodlawnBaptist where our son-in-law Brad works a as Youth Pastor. Congratulations and our prayers are with youguys. This morning I was reading in thebook of Isaiah – roughly the middle 8 or 9 chapters and much of it was aboutIsrael’s propensity to trust in stuff other than the God of Israel. Idols – yeah, the power and protection ofEgypt – why not, they’re tough customers, but God – not even crossing theirminds. They had forgotten, they hadmoved on to something that seemed tangibly better than the might God had shownin the past and offered them still.

It had me thinking of the gospel story (one of my favorites)of the demon-possessed man after his encounter with Jesus, after pigs brieflyflew. There he was now “dressed, in hisright mind, sitting at the feet of Jesus” and ready to do and be whatever Jesusbid him.

The contrast between the picture painted in Isaiah and thepicture painted in the Gospels got me thinking that our courage has so much todo with the realities we trust in. I’llgo to chemo this coming week and take all the requisite (and many) pills I’msupposed to swallow but I want my courage and hope to be grounded in a greaterreality than just modern medicine.

I hope Isaiah finds that too.

Lymph Journal #14

2012-01-20T07:50:00.001-08:00

1/20/2012

Independence Day. Ihad a morning appointment for a blood test at the Lörrach clinic and decided toattempt it on my own. A few readers willrecognize the following remark (and it has nothing to do with a formerpresident) “Mission Completion”. Notonly did I drive, park, walk, get blood drawn and return but also hit a grocerystore and the local Apotheke (pharmacy). Much washing of the hands ensued, a habit encouraged by the effects ofboth the disease and the treatment. White counts have begun a further drop as predicted.

Independence, interdependence, dependence – guess what thedefault setting is for a fifty-something male from New England. I am learning much about all three posturesand I’m so thankful for the community that offers help in the last two items onthe list. On a repeat of yesterday‘s walkthe line from a Robin Mark anthem (thanks Jenn) played “No not by might, nor even power, but by thy Spirit Lord. Healer of hearts, binder of wounds, livesthat were lost – restored”. A goodplace to seek dependence.

No real profound thoughts or bold revelations today. Diane had the afternoon off of meetings andwe had a sweet time together. I’ll takeit.

Lymph Journal #13

2012-01-19T07:19:00.000-08:00

1/19/20

Another strong day. Two good and vigorous (well, that’s a bit of a relative term) walks wereundertaken successfully. The weather hasturned a bit gloomy but both walks were completed without employing anumbrella.

When life takes the sort of turn as now you’ve got to rehashall your supposed theological notions about God’s will for your life. This is not an expression of doubting thatGod has my best at heart but more about the nuts and bolts of how it all playsout. I find my baseline is predicated on the character of God as the one whoredeems. Certainly the Christiantradition upholds the Redeemer but sometimes I think we forget that redemption goesway beyond the cross and is wrapped up in everything God is working out. Did God determine cancer, did God allowcancer, does cancer happen to people at random – well, with the Redeemer at thecenter it doesn’t matter that much to me because I find Him working in it andhave great hope that the most redemptive outcome will occur – whatever thatmight be.

I’ve often argued (but, of course, ignored my own advice)that we ought to cultivate the matrix of redemption in how we live ourlives. We ought to learn to considerourselves and call on God’s wisdom as well and ask, “At this point, in thisplace, with this situation – what is the most redemptive thing we can do or sayor be?”

But, back to the walking. This afternoon’s brought me by the local organic farm with all itsorganic odors that, a few days ago, I couldn’t get near for fear of losinglunch. Today, no big deal. My smell sensitivity is a good indicator ofhow I’m feeling. I remembered to pluginto the iPod today. On the return legof the journey two songs played consecutively. One I first heard years ago when our son Carl faced serious surgery andrecovery and I spent 30+ nights with him in Hasbro Children’s Hospital. Somehow it “spoke” to me then and wouldencourage me whenever I (pre-iPod days this) got a break and listened to it athome. Fred Hammond is the artist – he’sbeen a fave ever since – and Don’t PassMe By is the song The second song Iheard (in the sense of really being able to listen to it) today and is on mydear friend Danny Plett’s new CD – the song is Always Jesus.

Be it onthe mountain peak

Or be itdown into the deep

When mydancing turns to weeping

Or whenfear fades into peace

AlwaysJesus. Ever you alone

Be it evertrue, may my longing be for you

Now it will not be my custom to sell stuff here but boththese are available on iTunes. For atotal expenditure of $1.98 you’ll more than get your money’s worth!

Lymph Journal #12

2012-01-18T03:37:00.001-08:00

1/18/2012

Well you may have noticed there was no blog entryyesterday. Yesterday was a wipeout. I just felt plain old crummy. Sleep was elusive, food was offensive (untillate in the day when Diane fulfilled my strange desire for French toast),mental effort verging on the overwhelming- welcome to the roller coaster rideof chemotherapy. I was able to recallthe German for rollercoaster (Achterbahn) when speaking with my doc followingthe first of this weeks two blood test draws – thanks German 2! The doc shared more information regardingresults of my bone marrow testing – extensive “infiltration” crowding out thegood stuff. These were “sobering” words(which is a more polite way of saying “scary”) on the face of it but themedical theory goes – if the chemo kills the lymphoma then the bone marrow hasroom to come back and thrive. Certainlythe level of invasion into certain bones explains the earlier (now gone, praiseGod) excruciating hip pain I was suffering at the time of diagnosis.

Today I’m feeling so much better. Just got back from a morning walk. A good night’s rest, keeping well hydrated,and an appetite. Today’s craving was afried egg sandwich – yes, with ketchup – and I was feeling good enough toprepare it for myself. Ate the wholething and it stayed there! We also hadan early morning call with our daughter Hannah who is attending Azusa PacificUniversity (studying nursing so she’s quite interested in my condition on thepersonal and professional level). Friendsof us here are friends of an official at APU and had contacted this guy to keepa watch out for Hannah. Good thinking –wish we’d thought of that. Oneunexpected upshot is that the school has given her additional aid in the lightof our circumstances – way cool!

OK, so here’s one aspect of the roller coaster I’ve never heard or read about before – the world ofdreams. The last few nights I haven’thad much to remember but those first days after the heavy-duty chemo –whoa!

Night one was one of those dreams that seemed to go on allnight (despite the bathroom breaks that come built into a night’s rest onchemo). I was on an island. It was a beautiful island – beaches, streams,inviting forests, grottoes and hills – populated by a wide variety of people(no one I knew, however). But I wastrapped there. There was absolutely noway off. No boats, no planes, too far toswim – I was stuck and so was everyone else. They were all occupied with pointless tasks or busy doing dumbthings. One family somehow got hold of anewish car and promptly bashed it into a building on the first drive. The only “industry” of the island was dismantlinga former amusement park. I woke soabsolutely frustrated by this dream. Itprobably doesn’t take a psychology degree to make application of it. The next night I couldn’t help but wonderwhere my dreams would take me and whether or not they might be a bit moreencouraging.

They were. In thisset of dreams I could actually act, effect things, make decisions that resultedin results. I cracked the remainingsecrets of the JFK assassination (I could tell you but then I’d have to….),cared for the child of friends of ours (Micah and Heather – Ezra is a heck of alot of fun to hang around with), ate oriental style octopus, and (my favoritepart) drove my famous brown “87 Toyota 4WD pickup from Point Judith, RI acrossten miles of open ocean to Block Island (where I did have to moor it offshoreto avoid paying for parking). Oh thedelight, the freedom, the joy of being one who acted rather that the previousnight’s role as trapped victim. Again,you probably don’t need to have that PhD to get it.

To close off. FeelingOK beats the heck out of feeling crummy. I’m growing in my sympathies for those in chronic situations ofdiscomfort. Knowing, really knowing thatthe love and promises of God are real beats abandonment. Along with that knowledge, having thepartnership of friends, family and a fabulous wife can carry one through somuch.

Lymph Journal #11

2012-01-16T11:17:00.001-08:00

Another good day today – decent night’s rest, physicallyfeeling s normal as it’s likely to get and a brilliant sunshine. I’m thankful for living in a very brightcheery top floor apartment with decent views of the surrounding hills and anightly sunset show. Of course, this isGermany and this is winter so that show doesn’t always come off but it didtoday.

Life has definitely taken on a different pace thesedays. Carl asked at dinner – and Ireally appreciated this question because it’s real – “What do you do allday?” The lad is used to seeing someonewith an agenda and now that is sort of by the boards.

So what do I do all day? Each day has its pet project. Igot the bed linens in the wash. Check! Then came the big event of the morning –a walk downtown to put some money in the bank (exchange rates are the best in16 months and we have a few bills on the way). Over the past few days I’ve made some brief forays onto relativelyhorizontal routes through our part of town. Our apartment, however, is on the edge of the city of Kandern’s “bowl”and to reach Hauptstrasse (the German equivalent of Main Street) means downhillabout a half mile. You do the math –that means the return is the uphill equivalent. In normal circumstances it’s par for the course living here in thesouthern Black Forest region. Octogenarian ladies pulling wheeled grocery carts regularly do this tripwith well coiffed aplomb. But they couldkick my butt at this point so today was a trial run. Accompanied by my concerned (rightfully so)bride we set out stopping by Die Post (post office) on the way. While Diane mailed a card I furtively lurkedoutside the establishment like some banished smoker without his cigarette(avoiding germs when possible). Then onto the bank and, along the way, meeting and greeting in the safety of open airsidewalks a few good friends. Bankingaccomplished it was time to storm the hill. Well, we made it and it felt good to know that freedom of movement isavailable.

Lunch followed – I’ve actually re-acquired a degree ofappetite albeit fractional in comparison to Kraines family tradition. Some reading time, a little lie down, somemore reading time, etc. and the afternoon progressed. I made a few calls to family and friends back in the States. I’m finding myself morecomfortable with moments of doing absolutely nothing - which is good because Ithink there are more of those on the way.

And then there’s time with Diane. Thank you God for her and thank you that wehave good chunks of time to talk or pray or just enjoy the relationship that’sbeen built over the years. There aresome terrifically sweet moments in this.

So, what did you do with your day?

Lymph Journal # 10

2012-01-15T09:52:00.000-08:00

A good day today - feeling much less "hammered". Perhaps this is cluing us in on the pattern of what to expect with the treatments. Just got this note on Facebook in response to our claiming prayer support from continent except South America and Antarctica:

Just read your blog entries for the past week. We wonder if we can fill in the Antarctic encouragement slot seeing as Alec has spent three 6 month periods living in the Antarctic and has stood at the South Pole! We have the photo to prove it. Praying for an encouraging week ahead for you all, despite the challenges you will be facing. With much love.

Come on S.A.!

One more of many blessings this weekend - I found out that the Friday night BFA Boys Varsity basketball game was dedicated to me and the situation. "3.2.1.Kraines!" They won!! Thanks so much - you bless my heart and soul.

Lymph Journal #9

2012-01-14T10:24:00.000-08:00

1/14/2012

Feeling a bit “hammered” today. The cumulative effects of surgery and varioustherapies seem heavy even after a great nine hours sleep last night. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised and I can’thelp but imagine part of the physical process is eliminating dying lymphomacells.

I was able to get out for a few short walks – it helps butboth physical strength and mental acuity are not anywhere near what I’m usedto. Diane continues to be such anencouragement and help and I can’t effectively express how grateful I am to her.

We received a good old photo encouragement from former colleaguesat the Narragansett Pier School – thanks guys for upholding the tradition ofoffbeat genuine encouragement to members of the gang in challenging times.

Lymph Journal #8

2012-01-13T11:50:00.000-08:00

For those of us of a certain age we might remember thiseducational film. A 1957 (my birth year)Frank Capra produced science film for a Bell Labs school instructionalseries. I remember it well because a fewyears after it was produced I got to be on the crack Narragansett Junior HighAudio-Visual team and it was my responsibility to thread the trusty 16mmprojector and sync the film speed and sound bulb so Hemo the Magnificent’s lipsappeared to work better than your standard Japanese monster film dialogue ofthe day.

Hemo was the hero. Hemo (globin, if you never saw the film) got the oxygen to where it wasneeded in the body. Today I got anothertwo units of blood with all its lovely hemoglobin. I can’t help but be drawn to the biblicalassertion that “life is in the blood”, that the blood on which I depended todayis a pale shadow of the Blood on which our faith and healing are based. I remembered, again in the waking momentsthat seem to set the tone for my days thoughts, of one Communion service whenthe Pastor (John Goasdone for those who know him) likened the remembrance ofthe Cup to a sort of “toast”. Ever since I havelifted my communion glass in remembrance and tribute to the mystery of God’s great lovefor us.

Before the fill-up this morning I was called into the doc’soffice. Here’s what I updated familywith as a result of the conversation:

We're through the heavy-duty part of the first round of chemo - sofar so

good. The doc has indicated that he senses responsivenessthrough overall

appearance, lack of swelling in lymph nodes (there before) andreduction in

the pain I was experiencing before we started. I seem to betolerating the

chemo with no nausea which is a huge relief.

Looks like a course of a total of 6 treatments plus 2 bonusRituximab blasts.

All this has been affirmed at a meeting of the area "TumorBoard" (how would

you like to be on that committee)? Autologous (self-donated) stemcell

therapy may also come into play to increase effectiveness of thechemo and

rebuild the blood - we're evaluating and playing the experts ofBasel,

Switzerland off against the experts in Freiburg.

All in all to say that the care has been nothing short of excellentand

language has been little to no barrier. The community here andall over the

world has been supportive, Diane's a wonder and God is faithful.

It’s been a long week and I have to say I’mpretty tired but I think it’s been pretty productive.

Backpack Update from our friend Anne Bach:

Dear Russ (and Diane :) and Carl :) ),

I just got home from a parent-teacher-conference and read your blog. Since I'm a teacher in the German school system I think I can help you out with your question about rigidly rectangular backpacks :) .
Most German elementary school students have those - they are considered better and more suitable for their backs than a sloppy soft sided backpack. At the latest in 5th grade kids want to have a nice and fancy looking backpack rather than a kiddy hard cover schoolbag though :D .Since they leave the elementary school after 4th grade here in Germany, many parents think they are old enough to have a regular backpack. Hope this helps answering your question ;) .

Lymph Journal #7

2012-01-12T10:21:00.001-08:00

1/12/2012

This morning’s thoughts began with a reflection on howcertain sicknesses and circumstances exert a force bent on shrinking one’sworld. Don’t take this as a pityparty – it’s not meant to be. Theusual routines through which you establish your days get set aside,conversations drift from routine inclusion of the future to more immediateurgencies, favorite foods might now seem unappealing, the geography of life isless expansive – yeah, it happens – it happens to all of us many times in ourlives.

One flip side of this experience for us has been a radicalrealization of how large our world has become. We’re still waiting on South America and Antarctica but allthe other continents have checked in with people offering encouragement andprayer. People who share whatthey’ve been through, people who have shared how their lives have been intersectedby ours and the promise of prayer and thought are all such anencouragement. And, this very day,a dear friend and supporter in the States is undergoing cancer related surgery– our prayers are with her – especially after receiving her card todayacknowledging the “same boat” status we’ve attained. God bless you M.

So, these things shrink your world and they expand yourworld.

Today was the first dose of the toxic portion ofchemotherapy. Having heard storiesboth horrible and not I wasn’t sure what to expect. Things seemed to just go rather routinely. I was given what the therapy called forover the course of a few hours, finished Josh Harris’ Dug Down Deep (a sort of systematic theology book with a personalbent), listened to some music and watched the drip. It was a quieter day in the chemo club room – nodissertations on marmalade. Thereal bright spot was when, towards the end of my session, a grand older ladycame in, IV paraphernalia dangling from her right wrist. She was on either side of a robustlooking age eighty (my best guess). Regal, whimsically so, in no way proud or haughty. She was just infectiously, genuinelyhappy to be there, to be awaiting treatment, to be in a room that she could(sorry for the cliché) light up with her smile. And, to any of us who were not in a chemical stupor at themoment, she did. I don’t know hersecret but she had the gift!

We’re getting the routine down pretty well with theseappointments. Diane has beenterrific – well in every way – but in particular with getting me back and forthfor (x)hour long treatments that usual become (x+[?])hour long sessions. She’slearning the ins and outs of the city of Lörrach, we’ve coordinated thedrop-off, pick-up points and she can go home in between to work being onlyabout 20-25 minutes away. Drivingin the early morning in a German city is fairly challenging stuff. We discovered 7:30 is about the worsetime on a weekday. It’ssemi-dark. There’s a bit of groundfogginess about. The vehiculartraffic is heavy and it includes not just cars but mopeds skittering in and outand lots of bicycles. Then thereare hordes of pedestrians at the crosswalks and hitting the Walk buttons at thebusier intersections and throwing a logical flow of traffic lights intodisarray. Many of these walkersare the ubiquitous schoolchildren trudging to school in the dark with theirrigidly rectangular backpacks that usually are wider that the child. Really,they look like hard colored boxes with shoulder straps – I have yet to figureout when the German schoolchild actually abandons this model and goes with thesoft-sided. I’m sure there must bea rule or custom.

Tomorrow I’m scheduled for a transfusion to pump up thehemoglobin – now that’s something to look forward to – no joke.

Lymph Journal #6

2012-01-11T10:01:00.001-08:00

1/11/2012

I woke this morning (a fairly productive sleep night) withtwo main thoughts. One was theprayer that the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart would beacceptable unto my God. I’m notsure where this thought is going to take me yet – we’ll have to see. The second thought was that the timehas arrived to begin the “battle” in earnest. I am so pleased by all who are standing with us in thisbattle as they ask for great but perfectly doable things of God.

Here’s the more clinical aspects of the day. Added to the following was some kind ofantihistamine that’s had me in rather a chemical haze. I spent about sevenhours at the clinic with this.

Rituximab

Rituximab belongs to a group of drugs called monoclonalantibodies. These are used to try to destroy some types ofcancer cells while causing little harm to normal cells. They are designed torecognise certain proteins that are found on the surface of some cancer cells.The monoclonal antibody recognises the protein and locks onto it like a key ina lock. This then triggers the body’s immune system to attack the cancer cellsand can sometimes cause the cells to destroy themselves.

Rituximab is used to treat several different types ofB-cell lymphoma. It locks onto a protein called CD20, which is found on thesurface of one of the main types of normal white blood cells (B-celllymphocytes). It is also present on the surface of most of the abnormal B-celllymphocytes that occur in some types of non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Rituximab acts byattacking both abnormal (malignant) and normal B-cell lymphocytes. The body canquickly replace any normal white blood cells that are damaged.

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertreatment/Treatmenttypes/Chemotherapy/Combinationregimen/R-CHOP.aspx

Tomorrow the actual more toxic chemo begins with a 2-3 hoursession.

Like I said there was (and remains – maybe why this doesn’tmake perfect sense) a certain chemical sleepiness brought on by some of theadditional medicine(s). The firstfew hours I pretty much slept but then sleep was overcome by the marmaladelady.

One of the band of chemo brothers and sisters in the roomtoday really held the floor for quite a while. She was knitting constantly, although the object in questionnever seemed to grow, and had a very projecting, deep, and flat voice – thesort of voice that can fill a room – and did it ever! She was speaking (inGerman, of course) about marmalade (read this word with no silent vowels andyou’ll come closer to the German pronunciation). For close to an hour she held court on the nuanceddifferences between Brombeeren marmalade versus Sauerbrombeeren marmaladeversus Sauerkirschen marmalade – I felt like I was stuck in a sound loop for ahigh school German class and the one word we should know by the end of thelesson was marmalade.

Well I finally fired up the iPod and listened to the DavidCrowder Bands new and last release Giveus Rest. Appropriate to theday were many of the pieces on the album – thank you for the gift Ida-Mae &Jim.

I wish I could offer something more profound for the lessonsof the day but I am still a bit foggy. Thanks all for the encouragements received – they are moving andwelcome.

Lymph Journal #5

2012-01-10T09:49:00.001-08:00

1/10/2012

Well, thank you God, and my dear Diane and fellow staff anddocs who were willing to let me risk it – thank you all for the opportunity toshare directly with my Worldviews students about what is unfolding in my lifeand how it will touch their lives as well. It was tough each time through (a tiny bit easier withpractice) my four classes and the lunchroom crowd but it was so good to bedirect, share the story and the facts and allow kids to ask the questions thatstruck them at this point. I knowthat some of my kids have walked through tough variations on this theme so prayfor them.

Here’s a couple of things I hope I got out there to eachclass:

-The facts of what’s going on.

- The sure and certain knowledge and conviction that God isthe Potter and I am the clay. Onestudent asked if I had a positive attitude/assurance that I would get betterbecause “studies show” that attitude makes a difference. I agreed that it most probably does butalso argued that there’s something far beyond attitude here. God will heal – He always doesthat for His children but not always on this side of heaven. God will do what He chooses withme. I honestly don’t have aconviction either way regarding healing in this life. Some people have shared what they feel God is showing themand that’s encouraging but I don’t have that yet – hope yes, trust yes, but sofar no “answer”. And that’s OK –I/we’ve walked through enough stuff so far in life to have seen God’s wisdom,strength and peace demonstrated over and over again.

-My story as it related to Worldviews. Our next philosophical unit is Nihilismwhich is one of the stepchildren of a Naturalistic viewpoint that argues allthere is, is the matter and energy of this universe spinning through a cycle ofrandom cause and effect (well – it’s a bit more nuanced than that but you’dhave to have taken my class to see what the kids have been taught). Nihilism is one “logical” possible nextstep – if the natural universe is ALL that there is does/can anything makesense. Well, my story – I was achildhood Nihilist. When I wasabout ten years of age I asked myself strange questions (well, strange for ageten) – why am I here, what’s the purpose/significance of anything, whatdifference does it make in life if all you ever do and all anyone else everdoes is live then die? - thesesorts of cheery existential questions. By the grace of God there were people that claimed that He offersanswers to those questions so I really feel that God called me to Christthrough the valley of the shadow of Nihilism – a term I’d never heard of when Iwas that age.

Well kids – I wish you the best in this last semester foryou at BFA – I’ll be walking with you in the shadows of hygienic distance butmy heart is all there.

Physically I was granted a good night’s sleep despiteyesterday’s surgery and the physical and emotional strength to face this day.More than I could ask or imagine.

Lymph Journal #4

2012-01-09T09:56:00.001-08:00

1/9/2012

Well today Frankenport is installed. It’ a good things I revisited thepre-op instructions last night because if I missed this instruction“Steppbettlaken mitbringen” I would have failed to bring along my personalfitted sheet for the recovery room bed. Whew! Saved myself that embarrassment. Strange to those of us used to the U.S. process but itworks.

The anesthesiologist was oneof the most personable docs we’ve ever met. His English was great – his wife’s from Kansas – and he remindedof a cross between my brothers Dick and Don. The surgeon was also quite accommodating – we’re batting athousand so far as to great care.

Surgery seems to have gone off without a hitch and I got them to throw inremoving stitches from my previous lymph node biopsy and expanding the chestX-ray to a full so as to avoid having another one done for the lung evaluationdoc.

Hopefully all will be followed with a good night’s rest and the strengthto face tomorrow’s challenge. Assuming I have the strength the challenge is not medical but quitepersonal and professional. I hopeto meet with each of my classes and unfold the news for them in a way that Ihope will be best and will reinforce some of what I try to communicate inWorldviews. This is anotherepisode of “transition” that seems to be the stock and trade of this place wecall BFA and this community of missionaries but it’s coming awfully early inthe new semester.

Lymph Journal #3

2012-01-08T07:43:00.001-08:00

1/8/2012

After a poor night’s sleep (don’t know if it was theprednisone, general anxiety, or crazy dreams* - probably all three) the day hasfelt pretty good. Sunday serviceat Black Forest Christian Fellowship (BFCF) is always a pleasure and this mightbe my last one for a while as I have to go into low immunity mode. Our worship leader Mike is just apleasure to participate in praise with and Greatis thy Faithfulness was one of the hymns sung. It’s a wunderbar hymn in its own right and it reminded me ofthe days when we’d sing it to Sam and Amanda (sorry or thankfully Hannah andCarl – you were spared this) at bedtime.

On occasions in the past I the role of Elder at FirstBaptist Narragansett and here at BFCF I’ve had the privilege of participatingin the James 5 practice of prayer by the Elders. Today my participation was from the other side of the fenceas many of the Elders and some other close friends gathered around Diane, Carl andme for prayer. Asking God tointercede as He sees fit - powerful stuff!

I’m still feeling good enough for our afternoon walk – notthe 5-6 km up and down the hills we were doing four weeks ago but an honest yetlevel 1km past the local BIO farm with all those fine rural aromas. The sky was duly dramatic, the vistabeautiful and the goats are getting a little shaggier in their coats.

Tomorrow, Lord willing, they’ll install Frankenport – my I-Vsuperhighway.

*Crazy dream: I was accepted into a training program for thepolice force somewhere in the States and my first day’s training was to beginat 4AM. However, due to difficultysleeping I decided to go floating on the nearby lake on a double mattress. When I woke there in the lake it wasalready 4:09 – late for my first day! And I decided I must ask for an extensionon entering the program, facing up to the fact that cancer just might make itdifficult. Whoo boy! - shades ofstrange dreams to come.

Lymph Journal #2

2012-01-07T07:59:00.001-08:00

1/7/2012

It’s been great to receive emails of encouragement, phonecalls, etc. – to see how, as news of what’s going on spreads locally andglobally that we have a reservoir of folks who care and pray andencourage. It’s encouraging to seehow not only we seek comfort and strength and guidance in Scripture but othersdo so on our behalf.

[For my Worldviews kids I see a chance to reinforce some ofthe stuff we talked about earlier in the year. (I’m going to miss the day to day with you guys!).]

A good friend and former colleague here at BFA, Doc Parsons,sent along one such Scriptural encouragement. Isaiah 41:10:

“So do not fear, for I am with you;  do not bedismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you;  I willuphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Not a badpromise, I’d say. But how can Iappropriate this for my situation? I’ve got to ask some basic questions about the text because, boys andgirls, we don’t want to play fast and loose with the Word of God and we don’twant to lose the real meaning (exegetically speaking) in the quest to find somepreferred but not really there comfort (eisegetically speaking). So we ask some basics – what are the concentriccontexts (paragraph, section, book, body of literature)?, authorship andaudience and historical setting, figures of speech?, etc.

What do we get?(I’m not going to do a lot of heavy hermeneutic lifting here). We get the words of the prophet Isaiahspeaking out against idolatry and urging Judah to live right under the risingthreat of Babylon over 700 years before the time of Christ. We know prophetic writing tends tospeak on many levels of time – the now, the soon, the later and the distantfuture. Isaiah’s full of this sortof stuff. He’ll address thepresent sins of Israel or Judah, warn of soon coming judgment, promise redemptionfrom that and speak at length about the Suffering Servant, the Messiah, theWonderful Counselor, the Mighty King, the Everlasting Father, the Prince ofPeace. This figure is the ultimateRedeemer whose birth we recently celebrated and whose life lived out theamazing and specific prophecies found in Isaiah. (When you see this happeningyou know you’re into a pretty spectacular story grounded in truth). We get thefigure of speech of God’s righteous right hand when we know God is spirit. There’s a lot more we could explore butit boils down to an ancient Near Eastern prophet talking about some prettycosmic stuff.

Is he talking tome, to us? Can we claim, “So do not fear, for I am with you;  do notbe dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you;  I willuphold you with my righteous right hand.”, for ourselves? Is it really all about us?

Nope andYup.

It’s probably notall about us and our present specific situation.

But I do knowit’s all about Him.

And what does itreveal, who does it reveal? Itreveals the Redeemer of Israel, of Judah, of the universe. It reveals that the Suffering Servantis with the Israelites and with His Church, His people who He has called by HisName for He is our God. That he isthe source of courage and strength. And if we’re going to be held up by anything it’s going to be by Him.

And guess what,He has enlisted His people to help out. So thanks Doc Parsons and all the many others who are part of therighteous right hand of God in motion.

On the day to day front – feeling pretty good today, did afew errands, ironed (a strange passion I’ve developed late in life), took awalk by the local farm, and finished my last year project of reading the Biblein big chunks (Revelation 5-22 today). How will I approach it next?

Diane’s cooking up some chicken ala king and it smells (themushroom stage) pretty good. Icontinue to rejoice in what we have together and I’m pretty impressed with ourkids as well.

Lymph Journal Entry 1

2012-01-06T11:55:00.000-08:00

1/5/2012

Today brought full realization that this is a deadlydeal. I felt like I wasdying. The walk from the parkinglot to the office just about did me in on the streets of Lörrach. Turns out myred cells ad dropped from 9.3 (already badly low) to 7.2. Today we got the authentic name of thedisease T-cell/histiocyte-rich large B-cell lymphoma (THRLBCL) stage IV intermediate (of four stages). Today we saw the pictures from the PETCT scan illuminating all the areas of involvement in the spleen, liver, spine,muscles and various regions of bone mass. This would explain the excruciating hip pain I’ve been wrestling withfor a few weeks time. (Good call on not following up on physical therapyappointments – it just didn’t feel like that kind of pain).

Today I asked the time frame question, “How long have I hadit and how long would I last without treatment?” From a few years to a couple of months I’ve had it for thefirst question – One month for the second – but the way I felt that seemed atad optimistic.

Today, meteorologically we experienced rain, wind, sunshine,a rainbow, lightning, thunder and hail – in January – felt almost Shakespearianor maybe just another funky day in Germany.

Today we picked up our prescriptions for a course of therapy(these are the ones I take at home) – just shy of 1000 euro.

Today we started therapy – exactly 3 weeks from my firstvisit to the oncologist for blood testing. In between I’ve had the PET CT scan, bone marrow testing, asurgical snip of lymph node for analysis, and echocardiogram, lung functiontesting (fairly comical experience asking me to run up and down stairs in mycondition while a big blue plastic clamp was hanging from my right earlobe andalso for my almost complete inability to follow direction about inhaling andexhaling at various speeds or giving the technician the English name for a“booth”, “Oh a boose” and later, “You must return to the broose”), numerous other blood draws – and allthrough the holiday season. I mustsay I’m impressed. The first drugsof the R CHOP therapy: prednisone and Vincristine by IV. In addition and later in the day Ireceived two units of blood.

The impact of these two things has been fairly dramatic sofar – I feel much stronger than this morning – nothing like a few more redblood cells and a bit of prednisone.

Today I experienced the camaraderie of the chemo infusionroom. It’s a quiet, busy andlethargic place. Eight loungechairs, usually full with all ages of patients, each with their hanging cords forthe IVs. It is customary for a Germany exiting a dining room of a restaurant ora waiting room in a doc’s office to say “Auf Wiedersehn” but when you’ve satwith these folks for a couple of hours sharing a very elemental experience thatgoodbye takes on a whole new feeling.

Today Diane has been my precious wife – this is both aboveand beyond and as usual. Thank youmy love.

Today we continued to experience the power of encouragementand prayer by the community of God. The response to our monthly prayer letter revealing this has beenphenomenal! Keep sending theseprayers aloft!

The next big event is the installation of a “port” (Frankenport I think I’ll call it) onMonday morning and then the big guns start to fire Wednesday with 6 hours of IVchemo.

12/6/2012

The improvements experienced by the close of businessyesterday are hanging on. The hippain is almost non-existent (that really means the odd ibuprofen now and thenkeep it at bay). I was able to dothings today that I would have just sat back and put off a few days ago. Laundry loads, the tedium of runningback and forth to the printer to photocopy bills for faxing to the insurancecompany, vacuuming, tossing the Christmas tree off the balcony to the streetedge and attaching the euro coin to it for the fire department’s pickuptomorrow – all the typical things one might do on Three Kings Day, celebratedhere in our corner of Europe.

Screwed up my courage to read up more on the disease. It is mistaken 85% of the time forHodgkin’s – something we experienced for the space of only half a day. That period, however, led us to sharethe hopeful 90+% cure rate for Hodgkin’s before we had to retreat to the 60-70%rate for THRLBCL – that way many email and other contacts got to experience abit of our roller coaster ride. The disease is not usually picked up on until stage 3 or 4 – that makespretty good sense based on my experience with it.

The whole family got haircuts today – just regular haircuts– it’ll be a few weeks before I might have to go for the more radical look.Diane’s been cutting my hair since I was 18 – I should have invested all Isaved. She also made sometraditional Swedish rice pudding in an effort to employ comfort food in thequest for health and harmony. These are only two tiny reasons among so many huge ones that I realize thatI well and truly married the right woman!

Our dinner-time devotional tonight (from Jesus Calling) challenged us that themore extreme the circumstance the more opportunity to see His power andglory. Writing about this stuffcan sound awfully me-me centered and I don’t want to come across that way. I want it to be about His glory and thecool thing is – that’s what everything is ultimately about anyway.

Tough News

2012-01-03T12:48:00.000-08:00

It was a crazy Christmas break. After a whirlwind semester we looked forward to three weeks of relaxation and a bit of fun in the mountains.

Carl and Hannah awaiting the sled train

Snow in the mountains

Our little tree

I was looking forward also to enjoying the foodstuffs of Christmas time after having lost much weight over the fall by changes in my diet and much walking - or so I thought. It turns out something else gets to take credit for my "success".

I had some routine blood work done the last week of school but the results came back troubling. While we were on our three night vacation I received an email urging me to return ASAP. We left that day - here's the upshot:

I have been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma in a process that has taken the last two weeks. I will probably begin a course of chemotherapy a week from tomorrow. The cure rate for this sort of lymphoma is in the 60-70% range but if non responsive after the first treatment or two there are further measures that will be undertaken. The medical care in Germany is excellent and we are quite confident that we are in a good place in that regard. It has been amazing to see the speed and efficiency of the run from routine test to scheduled treatment.

Pray for us - for me that the treatment will be effective and pray for Diane as she drives me to my appointments, takes on whatever extra organizational chores associated with managing this, figures out her work load, and continues to be the most excellent helpmeet I can imagine. Pray also for a good solution to teaching my classes - I'll only have them for the first day of the semester to "unfold" this news and I will miss the classroom deeply.

I have always preached and taught that God knows what He's doing and allowing. We know it's true. We have to live it now.

Russ for both

2011-10-19T03:20:00.000-07:00

Rome Trip - Our Seniors go to Italy

Diane and I were asked last Spring to consider becoming "regulars" as adult leaders for the annual Senior trip to Italy. Because Russ teaches just Seniors this has its advantages. A leader who doesn't need to find substitutes for his classes and a chance to bond with the student he'll be covering some fairly personal ground with over the year are two of these advantages. Additionally there is still a transition in leadership at BFA and the so our participation can help bridge the gap as the new Director comes on board and eventually assumes a larger role in his annual event. For us, personally, it's a combination of change of pace - that can be refreshing and really good coffee and gelato - that IS refreshing therefore a way to help charge our batteries but it is a different sort of work and a fresh way to discharge our batteries. (By the way, we're extremely grateful for Carl's aunt and uncle combining a visit to Germany with "companionship" for Carl in our absence - Thanks Norm & Nancy!)

The trip starts with an overnight bus ride from Germany to Florence, Italy. A day spent there and we travel to a beach town hotel about 50 minutes outside of Rome that serves as housing for the week. Saturday through Wednesday we see the sights, make the tours, and grant precious free time to the kids. Thursday early (5AM) we set out for Venice for an afternoon and evening there (capped by a lovely Vivaldi concert in a Venetian church) before driving all night back to Germany.

Below are a few samples of moments in the trip.

My favorite statue in Florence - Brunelleschi gazing at his famous Doumo

A portion of the Ponte Vecchio

Roman souvenir stand - the Godfather and two popes - does tacky have no limits?

From The School of Athens - my kids know this painting after their philosophy unit

Waiting for the bus

Listening to our guide demonstrate fulfilled prophecy in Rome's ruins

The "Fancy Dinner"!

Dome at "St. Paul's Outside the Walls" - off the beaten tourist track but hugely impressive.

The whole gang in Ostia Antica

Self portrait, self timer, semi-fail

Cruising into Venice from the bus lot

Surprise kids - your teachers will find you

Venetian kids

Diane sneaking a peak out a bookstore window

Starting up

2011-09-08T04:58:00.000-07:00

53 - That's this year's number represented by the student body at Black Forest Academy this school year. Fifty-three different countries they've lived in and their families have served or are serving in. Below are pictures of this year's Seniors - my population - waiting to parade in for opening ceremonies.

I love working with these kids and we're off to a very positive start.

This year's theme banner "Grace Alone" with our friend Rob Shuman addressing the audience as the new Assistant Principal.

I've moved - my new classroom before the action starts

Carl on opening day

One of our frequent rainbows as seen from the apartment window.

But we do miss the folks back home. Here's a shot of our kids and grandkids when we were in the same continent/country/state.

2011-06-28T14:51:00.000-07:00

Grandma & Isaiah

Visiting with our FBCN small group.

Diane runs into BFA'ers in Wheaton.

Isabelle in Grandma's lap and enjoying her first birthday's cake.

One month of the year.

For one month of the year, give or take a few days, we do our Home Assignment. In that brief time we try to re-connect with families (large on both sides and including our own kids and grandkids), churches that support us or show an interest in our ministry (six this time through) and friends and individual supporters. Additionally this year Diane needed to spend five days of these 30 in Wheaton, IL for leadership meetings. We also try to knock off doctor and dentist visits and other practical needs best met while in the USA. We also try to expand our support base by inviting new folks to partner with us. None of this gets done anywhere near perfectly as it's too much to do in the time allotted. That being said, it is exciting to have the opportunity to boast on God and what He is doing in areas of our ministries. And it sure is great to be local grandparents for a few weeks.

2011-06-06T10:45:00.000-07:00

Grad 2011

Graduation at BFA is always a wonderful time but also a bittersweet time. Each graduating senior is honored with a personal tribute and a verse from Scripture (makes it a long but touching ceremony). The bittersweet comes as the realization becomes truly real that within a day most of these kids will have scattered across the globe and will not see each other agian for a considerable time.

Seniors lined up awaiting the big moment!

The Class of 2011

Parents, students, staff, and friends crammed together trying to say goodbye

The Korean class members and their families

One of our seniors saying goodbye to her dorm parents (where we have subbed)

Shots from our recent M-trip:

2011-04-23T00:38:00.000-07:00

Getting acquainted with some of our kids in China ∇∆

Walking around one of China's prosperous city centers∇∆

Making camp∆ Lunch∇

Some of the younger crowd ∆

Some of the local buffalo∇∇

A round of "SPUD" ∆

Adventures on the Dragon River∆∇

Our raft-mate Abby ∇

It's fresh, it's genuine, it's what's for lunch∇

Famous noodle breakfast seated on comically small chairs ∇∆

Lunch prep ∇

Breaking camp ∇

Tea tasting ∇

Ice cream break in another Southeast Asian city∇

Family transport∆

Eager students at English Learning Center ∆

2011-03-19T12:36:00.000-07:00

Third quarter at BFA has flown by and we should be about the business of updating his blogsite. It has been one of those seasons that are so busy that it's hard to remember all that has happened. We both work through the week and try to take some down time on Saturdays - this is a new sort of discipline for us - sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

Diane continues to juggle a whole lot of plates (an idiom meaningful to those of a certain age who remember the talents exhibited on The Ed Sullivan Show). The Brazil English Camp came off well. Participants and staff sent along encouraging reports and Diane was able to not travel there due to a good staffing situation on the ground in Brazil - a blessing as we look ahead over the next few months. Belarus, Moldova, Switzerland, Germany are all definite camps for this summer. With a team of volunteers one could run in Portugal as well. Hiring staff for language learning centers in a SE Asian city and another for work here in Germany also take up a lot of her time, thought, and cyber traffic all sort of nuanced by time zone differences. Additional administrative teams she belongs to as TeachBeyond continues to grow call on her time and concentration. The work is amazing, however, as God seems to provide for many of these needs in the most timely manner.

Russ' classes continue to go well and as we enter this last quarter of BFA for his seniors he is helping them to think about the transition they'll face. A challenging part of this is the fairly widespread belief of many of is students that transition is not that big a deal for them. Experience with past kids demonstrates that it can be a big deal, a deal, or not so much of a deal for BFA grads - you just don't know beforehand who will suffer greatly and who will sailing through relatively easily. So framing transition in a way that kids don't just ignore the "warnings" or fail to attempt the work of leaving and of going is a challenge.

Transition happens with all high school kids. They leave high school and go off to work or college. Some live with parents, some live on their own. Some succeed, some fail in "launching". BFA kids leave high school (a place where relationships are intense, safe and constant) they leave each other, literally overnight as they board planes to various continents and futures, they leave their sets of culture (where their parents work, where they go to school, the non-English languages they speak), they often don't get to go home for the weekend or even Thanksgiving, and they go (usually) to North America which can be extraordinarily "different" to them as familiar as it is to the average North Americans. They have often "transitioned" before but this one can be a real big one. Some succeed, some fail. We'd like to contribute to their success.

We're also quite focused on our upcoming trip as leaders of an M-trip to China. It is an exciting opportunity to take 17 kids to work with 60 kids at a school in one of China's largest cities. We'll (all 3 Kraines') also stop off in the city of the above mentioned language learning centers for two days on the way home to Germany. We both sense that this trip is under spiritual pressure. There have been a series of frustrations along the way (we know that all M-trips experience them but this seems a bit odder) -financial, travel arrangements, team cohesion and coming together - all seem a few beats off. Pray for this. Pray also for our health. Diane especially is dealing with very painful sciatica (still after 10 physical therapy sessions) and Russ' back is also a bit problematic. So, yeah, please pray.

2011-01-22T08:44:00.000-08:00

The holiday season has passed and we’re back into the rhythm of normality. It was great to have a break. Our Hannah spent three weeks here in Germany and we were able to confirm first hand that she’s doing well with her new life at university. It must have been a bit of a shock for her to walk off the plane in Zurich (wearing flip-flops, of course) into snow after leaving the sun and warmth of southern California. We enjoyed a white Christmas together.

Above: our little tree. Below: gift time.

Break was not especially event filled and that was just what we needed. One day trip to a French Christmas Market with friends and we did get to spend a few days in Switzerland – one of those days we went sledding as a family. Mom and Dad are still working through the back pains from that but we had a blast together.

Strasbourg, France at Christmas Market time.

I know that might sound like we get around with all the country name -dropping, but today our very ordinary errands took Russ through three countries in and hour and a half. Most of the groceries were obtained in town but the cheapest gas is over the border in Switzerland and a coupon worth the equivalent of $9 convinced him to stop at a French “superstore” for printer paper, split peas, and some inexpensive pork chops – we have no idea why they were the equivalent of $1 – that’s an unheard of price! Guess what’s for dinner tomorrow.

Above: Street view in Grabunden Alps. Below: geared up for a sled run.

Another popular vacation activity:

Classes are going well for Russ as his seniors begin the five-month slide to graduation. Diane’s work keeps expanding with new ideas, initiatives, and opportunities to use language learning as a tool to open doors for the Kingdom. Amazing things are happening with her ministry! Over the next few months we’ll have the additional task and privilege of preparing with our team (17 students, 5 staff) for the spring M-trip to southern China – we’re getting all our shots Tuesday. If you’re curious on details, check out our monthly newsletter. (If you’d like to subscribe, send us an email at rkraines@teachbeyond.org).

"Our" castle in the mist - as was much of Christmas break.

Tis the season

2010-12-05T07:07:00.000-08:00

The race to the finish for the fall semester is in full swing. The seasons, as you can see by the two views of our local castle, have turned and we've entered the long nights and short days of winter. (Payback is in the summer when daylight lasts until after 10 PM).

Sausenberg ruins from the kitchen window (maximum zoom - it's not that close!)

We have celebrated Thanksgiving three times this Fall. Many of our friends here are Canadian and they invite us to theirs in October. We then joined in a week-early celebration with the girls of Wittlingen dormitory where we fill every other week for Resident Assistants as they take their day off. Finally our small group from Black Forest Christian Fellowship got together for (laughably small by U.S. standards) turkeys (at seven pounds we used two) and many of the "fixins".

The photo below was taken at a English class for German adults that Diane had the pleasure of filling in as a teacher one evening. The lesson of the night was cooking Thanksgiving dishes (minus the turkey).

And then there was the social event of the season at BFA - the Christmas Banquet. Here's a shot I snuck of Carl attaching a corsage to his date's wrist. These kids clean up nicely!

It's far from all celebrations here. The students and staff are winding up a concentrated effort at instruction, learning, sports, spiritual disciplines, dorm living, cross-cultural strains, distance from family and loved ones, and so much more that has been going at a steady and busy intensity since the latter days of August. This will be our last full week of instruction before exam week and the exodus of students for Christmas break to four different continents.

Speaking of different continents, we will soon learn who is going where for this coming April's BFA work trips. Lord willing, Diane and I will be leading a team to a southeastern Asian nation to work with students in one or more schools there. Hopefully we'll be able to do some exploratory and planning work for initiatives in Hanoi on our return journey. We will keep posting what we judisciously are able to post.

Brazil!!!

2010-11-18T08:11:00.000-08:00

There's lots of stuff on the ministry horizon. Here's one:

Pray for this. Pray for God to put together the staff and campers that will make this camp all about His glory working itself out in people's lives. Pray that great lessons will be learned from this "prototype" of transferring the English Camp model we've worked on in Germany to many other places. Pray for strength, wisdom, and effectiveness for Diane in her role as TeachBeyond's Director of Language Services.

2010-10-31T12:16:00.000-07:00

International Spice Market - emblematic of this month's happenings

A whole lot can happen in a month. Diane has been involved in more meetings than anyone might care to count but exciting stuff is growing out of these meetings. Folks from two "closed" Asian nations spent time here in Kandern to discuss the role that TeachBeyond might have in starting up and staffing language centers and schools throughout these closed countries. God's people in these places are are dreaming big and acting on those dreams. Many, outrageously many are meeting Christ and educational initiatives seem to be a powerful means by which this is happening. Diane has a full plate of initiatives to undertake and that's exciting.

Can you guess what sort of country Russ visited?

Russ' seniors took off to Rome for their class trip and a fine time, we hear, was had by all. While those guys were gone Russ traveled to do some work in a school located in another country that shall remain nameless (although the pictures should give it away. He had a great time helping out with their Worldviews classes and encouraging one of TeachBeyond's farther flung members.

Perhaps the tastiest looking kepab I've ever seen - no, I didn't have one (too full at the time).

Fall in our neck of the woods means harvest time. The big question is, "red or white"?

October '10

2010-10-02T02:49:00.000-07:00

Well we're one month into the school year here. It's been a good start - a very calm spirit seems to be reigning right now. Thursday night Russ' seniors headed out on their senior trip. It's a good one - we got to go last year as senior class sponsors. They'll stop for the day (following an all night bus ride) in Florence before heading on to their hotel for the week in Santa Severa. This is a beach town about an hour outside of Rome and the base of operations for the rest of the week. Museums, wanderings through the city and a day at the beach will fill up their time and they'll head back on Thursday via Venice (actually arriving at BFA Friday morning). This trip is designed to bond and strengthen the Senior Class and it usually does so.

In the time off from having classes I'll be traveling to a major city in a "sensitive" country that is home to a sister school. I'm going at the invitation of the principal of that school and I'm very thankful for Europe's budget airlines which allow very affordable travel. I get to meet with the Worldviews teacher there and teach a few classes. I also get to check out a few of the sights.

Diane officially takes up the mantle of her new position now that September is over. She has responsibilities that will necessitate absolute reliance on God's provisions as she overseas various language projects in multiple continents and countries. Pray for God to raise up people and churches with a heart for and background in using language instruction as an opportunity to share the hope of Christ.

We had a great time last weekend visiting with some old friends who were "in town" from California. It's so refreshing to catch up especially when folks are still faithful in ministry after "all these years".

2010-08-24T11:26:00.000-07:00

Well it's arrived. Still another season of transition. We're settled fairly well in our long term apartment (check out the view of the local castle ruin we have - albeit on full telephoto - from our kitchen window):
Diane transitions from her posting of the last few years of helping to oversee the local English Camps for German teens to her position of Director of Language Services for our mission TeachBeyond. We have seen so many lives of kids and staff impacted by ECs and they will continue to be dear to us and a great opportunity for North Americas to come and serve for a few weeks in the summer - think about it!

The students started back today at Black Forest Academy and I officially met my Seniors for the first time. It's transition time for them as well but the eve of much larger transitions at the close of this academic year. Here are some shots from the day:

Of course that means I get to transition back to my classroom role - I just love teaching the Worldviews class and, as you can tell I'm ready - Diane has finished ironing the Fall Collection:

Here's a brief excerpt from an incredibly encouraging Facebook message I received from a former student of WVs Class of 2009:

... ALL of this to say- i appreciated what you did for me my senior year. you made it brilliant. you made me learn when i didn't want to, you made me question when i thought i didn't need to, and you made me grow when i though i was already done. I can say without a doubt that there is no was i could've made it through this last year without everything you taught me. i got out my world views notes on more than one occasion and the notes i didn't keep i wish i had. keep up the good work sir, it is much needed...

Wow - I came back to BFA with a desire to help our graduating seniors "make it" after BFA. If I can be used like that it's got to be a joy!

Then there's Carl - our high-schooler - Yikes!

And of course it's time for partings. The parents of our boarding kids go through it and this year I think I'll get it more than ever as Hannah leaves Friday for Azusa Pacific University (not that I already don't understand partings but I've left our other kids in familiar places). Here's what it looks like for our parents here - I don't think I'll be posting my face when the time comes.

So it's an exciting time and a challenging time. We're hanging on for the ride.

2010-08-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

So, here's a photo summary of some of the events of the last 2 months in sort of reverse order.

Above and below - some of this year's English Campers

Below - four multi-year EC 6 "grads" who spent the night with us.

Moving day for our friends the Shumans (20 bags + 10 carry-ons!!). We'll miss you!

Moving day for us!

Four generations of Diane, Helen(Diane's mom), Amanda (nee Kraines), Isabelle.

Sam, Hannah, and Amanda together again.

Proud Grandma.

Proud Grandpa.

Hannah in the grad line-up

2010-06-21T12:44:00.000-07:00

Just a few random pics this month:

Hannah receiving her grad tribute - High Honors!!

Russ with all his students named "Kim"

Russ & Diane at the Junior/Senior Banquet (we were Senior Class Sponsors)

2001 Prayer card - Yikes!

Hannah and an alumni on Grad day

2010-05-23T08:51:00.000-07:00

May in Kandern:

We're facing the last eight days of classes over the next two weeks. Each are four day weeks due to the religious holidays still honored by the German calendar. A week and a half ago there was Ascension Day, tomorrow is Pentecost and next week Corpus Christi day. Days like these reflect the longevity of the Christian story in form here in western Europe even though it is not an essential part of a great many lives here. Stores close, the streets are quiet, and no one mows lawns on these holidays because it is bad form to do so on a "holy day" but that's the extent of it for many.

If you New Englanders reading this are perversely proud of the changeableness of your regions weather, I think southwestern Germany could offer you some stiff competition. A given Spring day here will include glorious warm sunshine, drenching downpours, cold mist and the odd rainbow tossed in. Rainbows appear often and you can actually see the ends of them on the hillsides here. Unfortunately I don't have a recent photo to post of one - this post's rainbow is from English Camp 2006.

The best news of May: We have a new granddaughter and she's a beauty! Isabelle Grace Lavoie was born on May 14, 2010. Brad, Amanda, Cameron and Isabelle are all doing well.

Soon we head back to RI to visit Isabelle, other family, friends, supporters and churches. After that it's back to Kandern for English Camp season.

April wanderings

2010-04-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

Hannah on the roof on Burkina Faso

It's been a busy month of travel for us. Hannah went off to Burkina Faso to raise a few roofs, Diane went to Lübeck, Germany to train folks for running "Partner" English camps, hundreds traveled to Kandern for a conference of Christian educators, and Diane, Carl and myself spent some time at a conference near Stuttgart, Germany. All this in a month where travel to, from and within Europe was radically disrupted by Icelandic ashes. On the conference there was a day trip to Rothenberg - a premier medieval city in Germany.

In the town's church.

One of Rothenberg's gates

Hand painted, real blown Easter egg decorations on a town fountain.

That's what I call eyebrow dormers - it's like they follow you across the square.

March news

2010-03-26T01:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I hope you've seen the previous post on the Middle School play - if not, go there after this for shots of Carl in the lead part.

We're just starting spring break now and it last for about two and a half weeks in order to let many school missions trips happen, allow our students to get the most of of travel costs to distant homes and fit in a few conferences. BFA is hosting an international Christian educators conference through early next week and then at the other end of break, TeachBeyond will have its conference near Stuttgart, Germany.

Hannah leaves Saturday the 27th to Burkina Faso in West Africa with a team from BFA. (info on Burkina:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burkina_Faso). She is so pleased to be heading back to Africa, I wouldn't be surprised to see her there long term someday. Pray that these trips (6 this year from BFA) would run well, meet the ministry goals to the intended populations, and help kids clarify their own future goals.

BFA will be undergoing the daunting process of seeking a new director. Tim Shuman, the current director of over ten years in this role, has accepted a position with ACSI (Association of Christian Schools International) and will be leaving after this school year is concluded. Tim has bees a great asset to BFA. I have enjoyed his "direction" and his manner and approach to the job. He and his wife started here as single Resident Assistants over twenty years ago and it was here that they met, married, raised two sons, and put collectively over 40 years of service.

The plan is for BFA to use a one year interim director while a new candidate is selected to begin by the 2011-2012 school year. Change is always hard yet often good. Perhaps you could offer a prayer for this right now.
Hannah at the recent High School Retreat

For ourselves we also face great changes. Hannah has but a few months left with us before college. We're wading through financial aid and other information to help make the final decision on what school of nursing she will attend. We also need to move out of our fourth "live-in-for-1-year-while-a-family-is-on-home-leave" apartment. This year we hope to find a more long-term solution and I think we might have a good lead.

It would be sort of nice to not move every summer!

Get Smart

2010-03-26T01:13:00.001-07:00

86 glances disdainfully at Mr. Big.

Well, the highlight of the month for entertainment value was the Middle School production of Get Smart with Carl in the title role. He had to master 300 lines of snappy dialogue (as well as a quick bout of stomach bug the day before the first performance) in order to pull this off. Much prayer and encouragement saw him through the first few minutes of opening night and then he let loose with a great interpretation of the part (doesn't that sound like a proud pretentious father writing!). Carl seems to love this stuff so enjoy some more of the photos below.

Guarded by the Wong sisters.
Sign him up for Richard III!
Oops, wrong phone!
Long before cells and iPhones, there was the Shoe Phone
Keeping Dr. Dante quiet.
86 meets 99.
It was a fun couple of nights. Carl received so much affirmation from peers, high school kids, staff and community people - well done lad!

February flew!

2010-02-27T11:45:00.000-08:00

Hannah and Diane as the senior ball players were honored.
Carl calling the fouls

Well - another month gone. It's been a pretty standard German February - rain, snow, cold, wet, occasional glimpses of sunshine but the days getting longer. School has been steadily busy and Hannah has wound up another sports season. Carl got to help officiate at the last home game.

We're currently watching highlights from Olympic competition of the day - oh boy, here comes Curling!

Coming up in the next few weeks are the BFA high school retreat and then Carl's starring role in the middle school play.

It's been a tough month at BFA. One particular student discipline issue has had a far reaching impact on students and staff alike. It was handled well but that doesn't make it easy in such a small, tight community.

A small vacation

2010-01-26T10:25:00.000-08:00

Over winter break we had the opportunity to take a needed break. We had an incredibly busy 2009 and spent the first two weeks of break pretty much in an inert state. Diane and I are beginning to understand the dynamics of exhaustion (if that's not oxymoronic). The last week we spent in a place full of BFA tradition. It's an old hotel in a ski town that has faded from Alpine fashion. For a pretty inexensive price we rented some rooms, kitchen included. We pre-packed all our food (its so cold there you just keep it frozen in your car or on the windowsills). Our floor held many other families from Kandern and time was divided between games, reading, sledding, and sleeping.

Narragansett readers might recognize the guy in the gray sweater.

2009-12-15T11:51:00.000-08:00

We're getting a lot of mileage out of this picture (thanks Heather Shuman)

Exams are underway at BFA. This is a good time for teachers and students alike. For both, the hard work of the semester is evaluated and then put to rest for a few weeks. Many students from past years drift through at this time - connecting with friends and siblings and/or just using their break from college to "process" the transitions from BFA to university/work. I interview every alumni I see and ask, "What do you wish you were told before making the transition?" I get some pretty good information to incorporate into what I do in the class.

Diane has been working, if not too much, then darn close to it with her new responsibilities as Director of Language Services for TeachBeyond ( the organization formerly known as Janz Team). All sorts of interesting opportunities are cropping up that allow simple English instruction to open the doors for the Gospel.

Christmas break also means a drastic change of pace for everyone. You go from hectic, full, and fast to almost dead stop. The town loses a few hundred students and many staff and Christmas in Germany is no where near as fast paced as in the U.S. Imagine the quiet you might hear walking through your town at 2PM on Christmas day. The cars have all found their destinations, the Super Sales are suspended for a few hours, the big meal is on the table, and it's quiet. Well, in Germany that goes on for a few days in a row - unnerving at first for the American mind but then quite pleasant.

In order to let our students travel the great distances most must go to see their families, break is fairly long. We will take a week of down time in the mountains with some other families - our first real vacation since the same time last year.

I continue to be amazed at the absolutely cosmic scale of the Christmas story. The Creator and King of the universe who dwells in unimaginable dimensions of splendor and spirit casts His lot with us - forever!- to redeem and reclaim and restore - forever! - and invites us to the celebration - forever!

Merry Christmas to all!

November stuff

2009-11-22T10:23:00.000-08:00

November in Kandern. A mix of gray drizzly days interspersed with glorious sunshine and warmth. And then there's plague or at least it seemed so. Days where ten to fifteen of the school population was out sick with swine flu. BFA held a long "break the swine flu chain" weekend (4 days) followed by isolation of the population to the campus, keeping the kids out of the local grocery stores. It seems to have helped, attendence is back up and Carl survived his bout with it and the community saw that we were doing our bit. One of the more interesting moments was attending the high school play with the entire audience masked.

We've got about four weeks to go before Christmas break. Hannah's on the basketball team (playing guard and serving as co-captain). Carl has landed the lead role of Maxwell Smart in the middle school production of the theatrical version of "Get Smart". This will be a step up from his Weepy the Dwarf role in last year's (rave reviews, by the way) production of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves of the Black Forest". We are quite excited for Carl - he does seem genuinely gifted towards this stuff. If you're in the neighborhood March 12, 13 of 2010 we can reserve you a ticket.

Last we we got to go to one of the dorms (we fill in there on a regular basis) for dorm Thanksgiving (a week earlier than you guys celebrate). This Saturday is BFA's annual Christmas Banquet, a semi-formal excuse to dress up and have some fun. Kids perform, Christmas wishes are granted, the kids look great. This year Carl gets to be a server - an eighth grade privilege - Hannah and Diane get to look georgeous and I get to co-emcee (could be awkward!).

Rome trip w/Seniors

2009-10-25T08:53:00.000-07:00

Here's a sampling of shots from the recent senior trip Diane and I helped lead. The kids were amazingly well behaved and bonded so well as a class. The bus rides were long but the sights were amazing. Georgeous weather all week with lots of swim time.

Nothing like the fried potatoeds in Florence!

I loved hearing my students discuss what we had covered in class
regarding the School of Athens.

Love the photo stance!

Esther amazed at St. Peter's.

I didn't realize this was so vivid until I saw what the flash brought out.

St. Peter's at night.

Three Hannahs

One Hannah and one Anna.

Quintessential Rome.

Diane scoping out decorations for her office.

Diane catching Hannah and her buddy in front of Constantine's Arch.

We kept running into this guy all over Rome - he was amazing - jazz accordion!

The beach across from our one star hotel.

Ostia Antica - very cool place - once >100,000 lived here - recently excavated

Wandering the alleyways of Venice while Diane tended a sick student.

Venice's Rialto at night.

Back in High School

2009-09-15T11:15:00.000-07:00

Well, Diane and I have come full circle. Thirty-seven years ago we met in a high school Social Studies class after the teacher moved my seat for reasons we won't discuss here. We became friends, then more than friends, attended separate colleges (successfully), married, raised four children, held jobs, bought and sold houses, became missionaries, became grandparents, all the usual and some of the unusual things - but now, as we said, we've come full circle. We're back sitting next to each other in a high school classroom and studying German. It's no longer col to be the oldest kids in class.

German, we hear, is a logical language - so far the logic escapes us. We're hearing terms like "dative" and "accusative" - can you even remember what that stuff refers to from your days in English class? People say English is quirky - and it is - but it's also oftentimes economical. Take the article "the" for instance. In English we say, "the boy, the girl, the boys, the girls, the cow, the herd, the watermelon, the crop, the cell, the cells, the organ, the limb, the body, the family, the community, the state, the country, the continent, the hemisphere, the planet, the solar system, the galaxy, the universe, the mind of God". What a useful word "the" is. German is logical so this language says, " der Junge, die Jungen, das Mädchen, die Mädchen, die Kuh, die Herde, die Wassermelone, die Ernte, die Zelle, die Zellen, die Orgel, das Bein, des Körpers, der Familie, der Gemeinschaft, des Staates, das Land, dem Kontinent, die Halbkugel der Erde (literally - half scoop of earth!), des Sonnensystems, der Galaxie, das Universum, der Geist Gottes. Der, die, das - and we're not even talking about the prepositional variations as yet!

But - it is good to begin to formerly work on this language because it is not one that just gets absorbed by hanging around German speakers and there is progress. It's just hard for the half century plus brain to exercise cells that have lain domant for so long. The great motivtion, besides better understanding this place and culture we live in and besides making life all around a bit easier, is Diane and I get to compete on test and quiz scores.

Well, gotta study now!

BFA's back in action

2009-09-01T11:19:00.000-07:00

The Senior Parade!
Hear no evil, speak no evil - or is it just amazement that they're seniors?
You can only carry off the white belt look if your family works in Italy.
BFA is a strange and wonderful place - look at the smiles because school is starting!

BFA held its opening day last week. Traditions run hard here so it began with the procession of Seniors carrying the flags of many nations followed by the less colorful (but with way more straight lines) teaching, support and dorm staffs. As the roster of forty plus nations currently hosting the families of our student was read, cheering of various volumes rose up, largely dependent on the number of students directly involved. The United States rang loudest as most of our kids hold US passports. My seventy-six seniors have families working in twenty-eight countries. I polled my students and had them list the countries that they had personally lived in for a period of greater than six months. Fifty-seven different nations were tallied. By most accounts, there are currently 195 nations in the world. How big is the impact of Black Forest Academy? You do the math!

School now means for me (Russ) the dance of developing classroom climates and relationships that will allow my Worldviews classes to transcend the sharing of information and arrive at the place of spiritual and life in general growth. Pray for the tone and spirit to be conducive to real sharing and challenge and maturity. Pray for insight and wisdom as each class develops. Pray for kids to have the courage to examine their own faith worlds and recognize the beauty of Christ for themselves.

It feels great to have classes back I front of me! I love teaching these guys and Diane and I love being involved in other aspects of their lives. The big deal, coming up one month from now, is the fulfillment of our duties as Senior Class sponsors – we “have to” go with them to Rome for Senior trip!

This weekend is filled with a conference for classroom teachers to be held in the beautiful Alpine town of Adelboden. Two full weeks of classes connected by a weekend conference doesn’t really sound very conducive to rest. I say this because for the first time in about six months, Diane and I had a relaxing (not a whole lot on the gotta do right now list) weekend and it was fabulous! We didn’t do much of anything really special (well, we showed our friends the Shumans around the local hot baths) – we mostly just relaxed. I guess that’s why I’m a little less than eager to go away and "do" this weekend – we need more down time. God is good, it will come.

All over

2009-08-11T06:10:00.000-07:00

All Camp
These guys kept us fed - who will next year?
Our counselors.
Our translators
Our funniest camper - X

All Staff photo
Our graduates - next year they'll be too old. One asked, "How come no English Camp for 18-year-olds?" That is a very good question!
The now annual traditional auction of "stuff" paid for by "Teekets" earned all week long.
Here I got to share the story of one of my Iraqi refugee contacts in Jordan who once believedGod could not exist and who now knows that He does - the topic, "What is real?"

Well, I've not updated in a few days. This is largely due to the sheer busyness and fatigue of the last few days of any given English Camp. There's the basics of camp itself - all the closing activities (talent shows, banquets, bonfires, etc) midst the point of greatest community (meaning campers and staff alike have lost all ability to refrain from acting crazy! and valuable spiritual milestones are often reached). Then there are the practical bits - paperwork, pick-ups and drop-offs, cleaning, lots more cleaning, then some cleaning, the staff trip to Freiburg (dinner at Martin's Brau - if you're ever in Freiburg, it's a great place), materials and linens returned to base, some more cleaning. The emotional toll of balancing relief that camp is over with saying goodbye to those staff and campers who have been part of your life for the past 216-314 hours during an intensive time is also exhausting.

Then you have the episodes that come from nowhere - the camper mentioned earlier returned to camp after one ambulance ride and day in the hospital only to repeat the trip the following day (camp's last full day). Pray that God would use this in his life. The drama of it all did help focus camp in important and healthy ways.

But is is so worth it. Staff and campers alike leave changed. God has been at work. The gospel was delivered over nine nights and days to 100 campers. One of our third year campers - a guy who has got it rough family wise, who came to camp 3 years ago hating the idea of a "religious" camp, who fell in love with the love he felt at camp (he gave testimony before this next fact for longer than the evening message took), finally professed to giving his life to Christ (as did others). Pray for this "J" and for another "J" who thought she wasn't good enough for God and the others who came to faith - pray that God would make it so real in their lives and that churches could be found for them and so many of our other campers without good church homes.

Like I said - It is so worth all the time and money and hard work. Pray for us that we could recover to face the school year ready. We're weekending near Grenoble, France to attend a wedding and staff conferences start next week (well, actually they started this week but for self-preservation and with permission, I'm missing most of those).

Thanks to all who've read these and prayed for, given to, or served at (Did I mention the incredible staff we had?) English Camp Wittlingen (or any of the other camps) this year.

2009-08-06T13:37:00.000-07:00

The top photo shows two young "drop-ins" to our evening meeting time. They were drawn in by the strength of the talent exhibited in the next photo (third year in a row that "Tell Me Why" was performed just to show you the enduring legacy of the Back Street Boys). The next two shot are from pool day - a perfect afternoon for it - but then the morning was a different story.

Gloria, one of our very your but very dedicated and talented translators spent the morning with myself and one of the campers at the local hospital after the camper was wisked off in an ambulance due to some sort of attack that involved severe abdominal pains and hyper-ventilation. He's ok - we actually brought him back to camp about 10PM and the boys gave him a big welcome. The first words he said at the hospital after regaining responsiveness were, "Will I be able to go back to English Camp" and, "Why would God allow let this sort of thing happen to me?" So that leaves us with the encouragement of how much the campers love camp and a classic difficulty of the faith.

Well, that's about all I'm good for writing tonight.

Adventure Day

2009-08-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

Here are scenes of this morning performances of Bible stories - can you guess which ones?

We spent the afternoon at BFA going games along with the other 2 camps, followed by a joint worship/teaching time. I got to play the role of the visiting philosopher discussing the question of "What is real?" as I did two weeks ago during the previous EC sessions. The kids are pretty wired tonight so we hope they'll settle down for room time with their counselors.

Tomorrow we're off to the pool after morning classes. There's talk of a talent show but very few signed up as yet.

Pray that the "breakthrough" moments will continue.

2009-08-04T13:11:00.000-07:00

Well, I have had easier days at English Camp. Today, for the first time in seven camps, I had to send someone home. After days of breaking virtually every rule of the camp and repeated interventions by multiple staff members, I was convinced it was time. Pray that the climate of the camp would not suffer for this - there are some good things happening - real progress with both repeat and new campers.

As you can see from today's pictures, we've had some worship time (we do that every evening) and we've had some "visitors". There was a brief appearance by Heidi (one of our counselors who brought along her dirndl) and the return of the legendary Ricki - a veteran of 3 previous camps (that's him in the mullet wig). His former campers that are attending are thrilled to see him - he's spending the night- and we are too (both thrilled and sending the night).

Tomorrow is a break in the "routine" (nothing is routine at EC) for "Adventure Day".

Superbowl

2009-08-03T13:19:00.000-07:00

As you can guess from the title and the photo, today's theme was American football. For this we had a very special guest - Robbie Shuman, who's on leave from his football coaching (oh yeah, he's a guidance counselor too) in Narragansett, RI and here in the Kandern area to serve at Black Forest Academy for a year - to put the kids through their paces. How many teams can boast a wide reciever who speaks French with a German accent wearing a green shirt, blue shorts and bright yellow sneakers.

It is a bit surreal to see a number of folks in the area with First Baptist Narragansett connections. There's us, three additional team members (well four if you count Jason Hodges who "attended" FBC till he was about six months old, the Shumans - now our neighbors, and Jay, Haley, and Zoe Ashcraft working at a sister English Camp. Way to go FBCN - never lose your knack for sending directly or indirectly!

Many conversations are growing deeper between staff and campers. Please pray that nothing would impede this process as it progresses. We're seeing some kids with a deep desire to experience God in a deep way.

Sunday

2009-08-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

Today was a change in the schedule for Sunday. We take the whole camp to Black Forest Christian Fellowship for the morning service. Picture 6 rickety vans in formation descending on your church bearing 30 or so kids and 15 of so people who are living for a time in a strange land. Oh, then multiply that by 3 (te number of camps running in this area). What kind of an impact would that have on your Sunday morning service? What kind of an impact would your Sunday morning service have on such a group? BFCF has been very intentional this summer about making the service a good fit for these peculiar circumstances - we really appreciate the good efforts of all involved.

The weather was not good enough for the pool so we made a switch. Instead of taking the afternoon off of English classes we ran them so that on the first clear hot day we could skip it and spend the time at the pool. Flexibility on the part of staff is so beneficial to making this run - we've got a great team. After classes Hannah organized an Ultimate Frisbee tournament among our four sub-teams of campers. We had to cut it only a tad short due to another of the local menacing thunderstorms loomed over the field.

Tonight's message was on the Truth part of John 14:6 - good stuff. Pray that truth would be easily approached and understood by our campers. Pray also for the ones who are in the "testing" phase - resistant to the rules and basic trust necessary to run camp well - as ever we know we're in a battle so help us out with your prayers.

Long Day

2009-08-01T14:08:00.000-07:00

At the close of the second full day, you start to feel the length of a day of camp. The spirit is good but the kids are busy and comfortable enough to stretch you. Bed time drags on and we want to be serious, they, sometimes, want to be silly. This is a real short post because I need some sleep - pray for sunshine tomorrow - it would mean a long afternoon at the pool - a good thing. Pray also for the focus of the campers - that they would begin to get more spiritually tuned in to God, to the staff, and to each other.

First Full Day

2009-07-31T13:46:00.001-07:00

Here are our campers for this year - 16 girls ⇑ and 15 guys ⇓.

Our first day ran very smoothly. There seems to be a healthy spirit among staff and campers alike. All the phases of the day seemed to run without much of a hitch - three meals prepared, eaten, and cleaned up afterwards, classes in the morning and afternoon taught and attended, the first set of crazy activities, good singing and Bible teaching rounded out by Rice Krispie Treats and a demonstration of the sounds that farm animals make (practice for tomorrow's Country Fair Day) - all in all a typical day at camp.

I found a local pool that is willing to have the campers come and NOT force them to wear only the Speedo type of trunks - lots of people happy about that news! The weather continues to be sweet - pray that Sunday it would be as well because that is a good day to spend the afternoon at the pool.

Pray that community would continue to develop. Pray for safety and protection. Pray for a camper at a sister camp who is spending the night in the hospital due to complications of a previous surgery. Pray that Many in all these camps would come to better recognize Jesus as the "one way".

2009-07-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

Well, after a year's thinking, praying, and planning - especially on Diane's part, the campers have arrived at our new site for this year - no more Maugenhard, now we're at a dorm in Wittlingen. We'll just call it Witt and, if you want to sound "Cherman" you'd pronounce it "Vitt". Thirty-one kids have arrived and settled in. Well over a third are new to English Camp this year and then we've got some one to three year veterans. The same ratio applies to our staff - and, as usual, God seems to .

After the afternoon and evening together the spirit seems relatively positive. The evening walk following our evening meeting was spectacular - half moon bright in the sky as we walked the farm roads at dusk between fields of just harvested grains and yet to be harvested tall cornstalks. I'm not doing th Bible speaking this year - one of our new staff wanted to give it a go and convinced me he had the passion for it so we're giving him a go. One of my counselors is a former student of mine from BFA that I had back in 2001-2002 as a freshman, one is a recent BFA grad, and another staff is a student I had in Narragansett just a few years ago. We've got two young translators - not much older than the campers - and they're great.

Diane has worked so hard all this past year to see these camps come to fruition - very neat to se the kids stream in. Some are glad to be here because they've been here before and remember what a good time it was for them on many levels. Some are new and nervous. Some are new and thrilled with the opportunities that await.

Pray for us as we face our first full day together. Pray that our theme of "One Way - Jesus" based on John 14:6 would become absolutely real to each and every camper.

Whirlwinds

2009-07-21T12:20:00.000-07:00

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Well, It has been a whirlwind of activity since the last blog update. Home in the States living in Mom’s basement (the American Dream) and attending to all sorts of issues, needs, urgencies and the one huge pleasure of seeing Amanda married to Brad. Five churches in four weeks, clearing out the house for future rental (pray for that situation) caring for grandson Cameron, getting Hannah’s driver’s license taken care of, visiting friends and supporters, stocking up on supplies for the year (shopping ahead on Carl’s jeans as he grows exponentially, cheap ibuprofen, etc.), and more. We were busy and exhausted.

That hasn’t changed since returning. Each day until now has been full of either moving from one home to another or setting up and launching this year’s English Camps. Diane and I are training, shopping (enormous amounts of food are consumed by 150 campers and staff in a few short days) and “troubleshooting” for the first session of camp. It’s been exciting to see first the staffs arrive and begin to gel as teams and now working camper pickups we’re seeing the same thing happen with them. We’ll be directing at the second season of camp in a facility new to us – its structure is reminiscent of a maze. Our staff will be a mix of veterans and newbies and it will be great to see how God works out this team’s efforts.

When it’s all said and done it will be time for school to start again for staff at BFA although we might be able to sneak in a few day’s rest (plus the wedding of a former BFA student to be held in France) – I hope so. We’re also looking forward to welcoming our friends the Shumans to the staff here at BFA – they’ll be living just four doors down in our row house building.

2009-06-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

The class of 2009!

Here's a few shots of grad stuff. What a time it was for all involved - grads, families, friends, staff - a whirl of appreciation, celebration, transition, pleasure and pain. I'm comforted in all this by knowing that as much as we all love these seniors, God loves them more!

From "Senior Skip Day"

Above is one of my favorite students (I had about 79 favorites) with her family. Below, same girl (this time underneath another fave) at the all night open house for seniors after grad celebrations.

At one point - somewhere around 3AM - we had over 40 kids in the house eating homemade pizza and just being together for their last night as classmates.

Here's a few particiants in the Spring Party with a Viking theme:
Here's Serge - an unlikely and incredibly civil Viking:
One dorm's Seniors and heir dorm parents at grad reception:

May stuff

2009-05-23T01:57:00.001-07:00

We've got some weddings coming up, so, a few weekends ago we drove an hour over to France to buy some tablecloths for gifts (they fly a whole lot better than glasses or blenders and they make some beautiful ones there). It was a gorgeous spring day and we made a nice day of it. While walking through town we spotted this "old-timer".

Here's Hannah and some of her teammates at the last home soccer match this season. They won the Regional championship then and, as I write, the team is playing the semi-finals for Division II championship in the European DODDs league.

Here's a shot of us holding each others' head up as the Junior-Senior Banquet drew to a close. We're Junior Class sponsors and this is the BIG DEAL of the Junior year and a time of personal tribute to the Senior class. Much planning, organization, muscle, creativity, and sweat went into it's execution but it all turned out lovely.
Here's Hannah with fellow Juniors and members of her small group.

More Hannah Photos from Kenya

2009-04-26T05:09:00.000-07:00

Hannah at Helping Hands - school for disabled kids

Spring Missions Trips

2009-04-07T01:07:00.000-07:00

Hannah and Russ have returned from Kenya and Jordan respectively - tired, in Hannah's case a bit ill, but blessed by the experiences.

KENYA
Hannah's group worked with children in an orphanage and in a school for disabled kids (normally shunned in this culture). Here's a photo of Hannah's team: (If you're facebook friends with her, she's posted a bunch of other pics).

Above - Hannah & Grace
Below - Hannah working on the new bathroom
Goofing off with the kids.

JORDAN
Russ' crew had the privilege of working with Iraqi refugees living in Amman, Jordan. A pre-school group of up to 30 kids met each morning, our boys played soccer each day with teenage boys, our girls helped run an afternoon girls club for teenage girls, the kids helped out in adult English classes, and evening we spent visiting the homes of the refugees. The last day of the trip was a bus trip down to the Dead Sea with the refugee kids our gang had befriended. In addition to helping the ongoing programs (including also a service project of rehabilitating and indoor "playground") our goal was to build positive relationships with these kids and their families so that when emigration (U.S., Canada, or Australia were the leading possibilities) occurs (anywhere from 3-8 or more years after fleeing Iraq) they would seek out believers.
The team, including students, leaders, and the couple working on site.

The stories of the refugees included many losses and challenges - family members and friends killed, lost businesses, relatives still in peril, marginal existence now in Amman, frustrations and red tape, etc. Two things were quite clear as we got to know and spend time with the refugee families. One - no matter where the refugees stood faithwise, hospitality was very much a part of their culture. You could not visit a home and avoid a slice of cake, a glass of fruit juice or soda, a cup of coffee, etc. - even if you shared not a word of common language. There was never a question of cost and for some it must have cost sacrificially. Two - those refugees who were believers may have lost much but they had a true wellspring of joy in their lives. It spoke to me of the trap that a comfortable existence can spring on a believer - the comfort/complacency trap. There are times we must move to the edge of our comfort envelopes and beyond to really know the hope of our calling, the riches of our inheritance, and the power that is at work within us (yeah, as you might sense from this past sentence, Russ got to preach to the refugee congregation from Eph 1).

Here are some shots from the trip - eventually we'll get some more posted on Facebook.

Three of our kids and four of the refugee teens

Esther and a friend.
Above - Mahata section of Amman - one of the poorer parts of town where Iraqi refugees have settled, our home for the week, and one of the tremendous number of mosques that dot the city of over 3 million (my morning wake-up was the 5AM call to prayer).
Below, Mahata street scenes.

One of the high points for Russ was sending about two hours with our Jordanian host and the boys on the team at the new national mosque of Jordan - built in honor of the late king. There we were able to observe the afternoon call to prayer as well as the prayer time itself. When that was over a number of locals greeted us warmly and then one of the two imams (teachers/leaders of a mosque) came over to speak with us. Through our host's translations, we were able to ask many questions regarding his role, the mosque, the Koran, etc. He sang to us part of the opening sura (chapter) of the Koran - the Fatiha (In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful. All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. The Beneficent, the Merciful. Master of the Day of Judgment. Thee do we serve and Thee do we beseech for help. Keep us on the right path. The path of those upon whom Thou hast bestowed favors. Not (the path) of those upon whom Thy wrath is brought down, nor of those who go astray.) and then his assistant did the same in his own style (both, of course, in Arabic). I'm sure they thought that they were reaching out to us but it was a fascinating time to get authoritative words from a recognized leader of this faith - wow, as a teacher currently working through a unit on Islam in my Worldviews classes - what a moment!
Above, national mosque built in memory of King Hussein - sorry, no photos allowed inside.
Below - some of our girls and guys doing the Dead Sea beauty treatment. Separate beaches used for guys and girls.

Pray for Jordan, for the refugees, for the real hope to be found.

Dramatic Month

2009-03-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

Where's Hannah & Russ?

The photos below tell the tale of some of this past month's activities.

Russ and Hannah both took part in the annual Black Forest Christian Fellowship outreach event the "Candlelight Dinner" - the most sought after ticket in town (I'm not kidding - the shoe store lady was asking me before the fact when tickets become available). Most tickets go to German acquaintances of BFCF attenders, a quality dinner and show is produced and the gospel is clearly celebrated as well. This year's theme was "SING FREEDOM" and centered on Gospel music as it developed out the slave experience in America. The show ran for two consecutive nights with a repeat of the show (minus dinner) on a Sunday afternoon. Great fun and exhausting!

The other drama was the long awaited Middle School production of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs of the Black Forest. This production strayed from the standard Snow White story line in numerous ways, most obviously in the collection of alternative dwarfs (many who were actually taller than the heroine). The dwarf who stole the show (well there were many great performances but this dwarf got huge laughs!) was Weepy, the dwarf who cries about everything played by the new star of the stage - Carl.

Check out the pics!

"Nobody Knows the Trouble I Sees"

Full Chorus (both adult and high school) led by Danny Plett.

Hannah - first left row 2

Weepy giving it all he's got!

In the middle of all this was the annual high school retreat for Hannah as student and Russ as one of the many leaders. No wonder we're a bit tired.

So, there you have it. The next big event is Spring break trips - Jordan for Russ and his team and Kenya for Hannah and her team.

"the Supremacy of Christ"

2009-02-21T04:40:00.000-08:00

What is this "worldviews" course I'm teaching all about anyway? What I think I'm meant to do in the course is to walk my seniors through the various filters through which other people see the world.

By and large my kids have grown up in Christian families that have been doing humanitarian work or outreach in the name of Christ. They've often lived in small "bubbles" of like-minded folk and indeed BFA serves as such a sphere of protectedness yet our purpose is to launch our graduates prepared to survive in, thrive in and take on a much wider world of ideas and experiences (not that they haven't had numerous, varied and incredible experiences already - not just the North American collegiate and cultural kinds of experiences). In doing so, it will be best to know how others perceive the world, make decisions and evaluate worth. That's where "Worldviews" comes in.

We examine a host of major worldviews. "Biblical Christian Theism" is our anchor (and in which everything matters because God matters). From there we travel through Deism (distant impersonal watchmaker God who doesn't really matter), Naturalism/Atheism (no God, only matter matters), Nihilism (nothing matters), Existentialism - both atheistic and Christian (only willful action matters), Postmodernism (only I matter), Eastern religions (only the "force" matters Luke), and New Age (what matters is that the force is all about me). We see how worldviews answer the great questions of purpose, existence, truth, morality, history, life and death, etc. We ask how one lives by such sets of presuppositions and what really a "good life" is.

In the process of this I try to examine each worldview with the kids as respectfully as possible with the intent of saying, "Reasonable, normal people - people that you will meet, share a coffee or a class or a room with, be under the teaching of - live by the presuppositions of these worldviews. Let's understand them, engage with them, and know our own worldview practically and well."

In exploring these in this manner, I've learned much. I've seen the "reasonableness" inherent in many other ways of viewing things and have grown in my own faith. Just the other morning I had one of those strange "Is God actually talking to me experiences". In classes we'd been examining Hinduism in great detail and I'd listened to a few gurus online and attempted to get what they were telling. I could see some eerie parallels with Christian faith goals and practices. In my morning devotions God seemed to be saying, if not audibly then firmly and deliberately still, "the Supremacy of Christ", "the Supremacy of Christ", "the Supremacy of Christ"! WOW! what a train of thought and beauty came to mind as Christ spoke out clearly to all the philosophies we've looked at. It was just one of those incredible "spiritual" moments that would blow the doors off of any hollow, counterfeit spirituality experience offered by other traditions and certainly gave lie to the notion that God is either not there or not interested.

Boy, was class fun that day or what! We went to Ephesians 1 where Paul is praying for the "enlightenment" of the "eyes of the heart" (Eastern religions are a quest for enlightenment and many speak of the "third eye" each of us has) of the believers at Ephesus so that they might know "the hope to which he [Christ] has called [them], the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe." - resurrection power as you read on. Talk about enlightenment, talk about a faith, and a worldview which speaks to every need ("God placed all things under his feet..." v.22) and desire of humanity (finding life, not death - read on to chapter 2), talk about the things that matter! Why do we matter?, why does life matter?, why does the world matter?, because Christ is supreme. Anything, any philosophy, any worldview that denies His supremacy hollows out the things that do matter.

Cross cultural life

2009-01-24T07:26:00.000-08:00

Life as a missionary in Germany doesn't come with the extremes of cross cultural adventure associated with living in the jungle or wrestling with the bureaucracies of a former Soviet Socialist Republic. We have grocery stores (three, in fact, but each sells only one brand of paper towel), electricity (220 volt and expensive), clean water (plentiful but very expensive), medical services (if you're comfortable being diagnosed in another language, prescribed some sort tea for the majority of normal diseases and told air conditioning is a clear and present health danger), radio (mostly American pop music), and heating systems (electricity - cost already noted), gas and oil (also very expensive). Gasoline is also available and it, like back in the States, has dropped in price - now it's only $5.71 per gallon down from $9.

Things balance out - most of the groceries are fairly good quality and low cost so we tend to eat well and walk most places. Another way we've tried to balance out this year is by heating primarily with wood. That's relatively cheap (about $160 per cord) compared to the $5.11 we paid per gallon for heating oil back in the fall.

Here's the challenge - find, purchase and arrange for delivery a supply of wood.

The challenge doesn't stem from a lack of wood. We live in the Black Forest. There are many woodcutters about and few of them are the scary Grimms brothers types of guys. They just generally are not schooled in the English language. Conversely, my German is marginally awful and completely inadequate for the local dialect. So here's the challenge - find and communicate an order and delivery of seasoned firewood of the appropriate dimension for the house's woodstove. This should be put on the Amazing Race.

As I said, we've got the woods and the woodcutters so the wood is available. Piles, intricately and tightly stacked abound both out in the open and deep in the forests. They're not, however, posted with an online ordering link, they're just out there. The trick is to connect a woodpile and a woodcutter. The patient, methodical man might stake out a pile and wait but I'm not that patient or possessed of that much time. Instead I listened to the sounds of the town. Walking home from work I would sometimes hear the sound of the enormous chopsaws the woodcutters used to transform their piles of one meter split logs into piles of 30cm long split logs. Being able to hear this is one of the advantages of walking. One day, I followed my ears but by the time I made it downhill to the river and uphill to the next ridiculously steep hill (those that have been to Kandern know what I'm talking about) the woodcutter had quit for the day. I determined to try earlier the next time.

The next time was a day later and I set out - brilliantly enough with an index card with info such as my phone number (you never know, I might find a bilingual woodcutter) and home address. This time I caught him just as he began tearing down the quasi-mountainside in his tractor - 5PM on the nose - and I boldly flagged him down. Well, of course he didn't speak English, so the few choice words and pantomime began. I must say he was and is a very polite and pleasant woodcutter and human being. In short order we negotiated amount, price, tentative delivery times (punctuated by the word for rain "regen" and the appropriate arm flailings to match. We shook hands and he again shot off (they drive tractors way fast!) for dinner and I returned down the hill to the river and back up the other ridiculously steep hill we live on with the gleam of the triumphant ancestral hunter in my eye.

A night or two later the woodcutter appeared at our door and we engaged in some more pantomime, weather prognostication, number recitals and hand shaking. It seemed like the meet was set for around 4PM the next day - just before BFA began its home basketball weekend.

And come the wood did (Yoda wrote that sentence). He delivered to our side lawn by backing his tractor's trailer over the hedges - we think they'll bounce back - and dumping the lot there. Then it became my job to move it all off the lawn and around to the back. Diane enjoyed this cross cultural exchange as I was on the job that afternoon. She particularly found "cute" his using his finger to "write" his phone number ("500" - which means he's been here for a long spell - a 3 digit phone number!) on the front door. All I can say is I'm ready for the cold. By the way, the long cold snap we've had since Christmas broke once the wood was delivered.

All in all I really enjoy the cross cultural adventures and it's nice having a warm living room.

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T05:48:00.000-08:00

Well it's our first Christmas "back" in Germany. After a busy but great semester it's good to experience some downtime. Amanda, Cameron and Amanda's fiance Brad are in town so we haven't had too much "down" down time yet - but it will come.

A few days ago Diane and I got to attend the Janz Team Germany Christmas dinner party. I found out what it was lie to be a part of Diane's world over at JTG. Held at a local restaurant (The Ochsen for those in the know regarding Kandern)we had our choice of pork schnitzels, curried turkey chunks or a vegetarian dish. The entertainment was interspersed throughout the evening. Early on everything was translated but that soon fell by the wayside and I got to feel what Diane does when she attends the daily prayer meetings at her work conducted entirely in German.

A few blogs ago I mentioned finding joy in the unlikely things. Well, the unlikely thing at the Janz Team Germany's Christmas bash wash the main entertainment. Had you asked before what sort of entertainment I might expect here in southwestern Germany I could have listed all sorts of possibilities. One of Janz Team's core ministries is musical outreach so there' be many choices there. BFA has all sorts of talented folk to draw from and , in fact, some did perform but not as the main event. There are some local forms of music that would be available from accordian bands to vocal harmonist ensembles but no - those were not chosen. Surprise of all surprises the headline act consisted of four middle aged German men who ad a love for and decent (for Germans) skill with American Bluegrass music. Bluegrass music - come on!, how could we have predicted that? Well, it was delightful. Merry Christmas.

Living Naturally - Not!

2008-11-23T10:49:00.000-08:00

Of late in my "Worldviews" class we've been examining the worldview of "Naturalism" - the basic view that all which exists is material - there is no supernatural, no God, no miracles, no soul. It's a view greatly advanced in academia and, consciously or unconsciously, incorporated into much of our cultures modern outlook. But just because it doesn't allow for God doesn't make it not a religious view. Take the following statements from a leading naturalist whose web video before the "Freethinkers Society"

for example:

- "We are citizens of the cosmos."
- “When we postulate the supernatural we rob the cosmos of its glory.”
- “There but for circumstance go I.” (reference to why criminals can't help what they do)

These sound very theological in tone (while leaving out the theos)and they should because they are part of a set of worldview/religious statements.

I can go these more than one better - infinitely better:

-  "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ," (Philippians 3:20)
- "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - His eternal power and divine nature have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse…" (Romans 1:20)
- "There but for the grace of God go I" (in reference to anyone else I may desire not to be and the answer to anyone who desires to become what God desires for them).

I left one thing out regarding the naturalist worldview - after death, nothing (without a soul and a supernatural - what option is there?)

Living Naturally (as if all there was was Nature) - I think not!
Living Supernaturally - sign me up!